The end of treatment and I am absolutely petrified

Hi Youhavegotthis

Great name! and hopefully you can try and emulate your name with your thoughts  - not easy to do at all, I know!

I believe what you are thinking is pretty normal for everyone, even with not so aggressive cancers.  I was grade 2 IDC and grade 3 DCIS and didn't need chemo, just radio and tablets.  I can remember very clearly with my first annual mammogram 100% expecting to be told it was back and was EXTREMELY shocked when the nurse told me that it was good news.  (they aren't allowed to tell you after the appointment any more, you have to wait for a letter).  Each year after this, I have tried to just forget that I have had cancer and only think about it in the month of the run up to my annual mammo. It is my last one this year before being described as cancer free and I am due to have it in the middle of this month.  Each time I go, I think 'well that's it I expect my luck has run out' and for the past few years I have received a very thin envelope in the post (if it's thick, then there's a booklet telling you what to do next when you go for your recall), so as soon as I get a thin hospital envelope, I dance a jig

I think the best thing that any of us can ever do, is to follow the advice re healthy living and then try and just get on with everything once the treatment has ended.  I try and tell myself that worrying isn't going to change anything, so what will be will be and just try and file it away at this.

As I say, not easy, but it's worth trying to get your head around this mindset and live your best life knowing that it has been caught by the experts and treated to the best of their ability.

Kindest wishes, Lesley

It sounds like you are having a lot of treatment so hopefully it will be cured. Maybe counselling with Mcmillian  would help. Xx

Hey 

I absolutely feel like you some days . I try to hard to be positive but I have a very large tumour and like you at least 7 nodes ( I haven’t had surgery tho , this is from scans )

I’ve only done 2 chemos and have 6 to go . 
Have you been told your cancer is aggressive ? 
I am on a waiting list for counselling , people I’ve met on here and otherwise that understand have been a huge support and comfort to me but I feel like outside counselling may help too

Sending hugs

L xx

You have been thru a LOT. 

No wonder you are a nervous wreck

If it were me I would write all my emotions down and underline what I wanted to talk to my Oncologist about next time I saw them....EVERY FEAR....Possibly the Dr can alleveate some of them.

I hope so...HUGS

Hello, sorry for the delayed response! I have been told my cancer is very aggressive yes, its grade 3 and fast growing. I am wishing you all of the best with your chemo, you can do this, it'll soon be round 8! What is your plan after chemo? xxx

Thank you so much . Unfortunately there is probably spread to my liver but I have another mri next month to confirm and I have plans to see a liver specialist ( privately ) 

The plan was / is , 8 cycles chemo , mastectomy and axillary node removal and then hormone therapy but if my liver is definitely involved then I probably won’t get the surgery ( although they’ve said if liver is stable they still might do the surgery ) 

Im struggling quite a lot some days , I have an appointment with a psychologist at Maggies so I’m hoping that will help somewhat although clearly I just want them to say it’s a huge mistake and I don’t have cancer after all
Sorry went off on one there lol

hugs 

L xx

Oh no, I am so sorry to hear this, was this picked up at the start of your diagnosis? I am praying for you that the MRI shows different and you can have your treatment as originally planned. If you ever need to talk I am always here. This journey can feel very lonely most of the time. x

It was picked up on the CT at the beginning in Feb but they only found out how many lesions there were after an MrI ( CT wasn’t clear enough ) . Took an age to get all the scans done and then results back and then the radiologists couldn’t agree … which isn’t helpful  really !

Im just hoping some treatment works , it’s terrifying 

Anyway , sorry to hijack your message ! 
Thank you for your support 

hugs 

L xx