What next?

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I was diagnosed with grade 3 stage 1 TNBC in March 2021. Had a lumpectomy and 14mm tumour removed with clear margins and all 4 lymph nodes removed were clear. I then had 4 EC and 4 paclitaxel and 10 radiotherapy - 5 targeted and 5 boost.

a scan during chemo showed a 6cm pelvic cyst which I’m waiting for another scan on but have already been told I score high on the “malignancy calculator” as I’m post menopause and the cyst is considered large.

now after having an upset tummy for a couple of weeks I’ve just heard that the FIT test done has come back as abnormal so I’m now waiting for a colonoscopy which should be done under the 2 week wait as the result is suspicions for cancer.

I am feeling so low and so scared, I’m terrified that I’m riddled with cancer and no one knows. I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I’m not expecting anyone to be or have been in the same position as me I just need to share. Lxx

HappyFeet1 over 3 years ago

Hi Monalisa1869, sorry you’re going through a truly anxious and horrible time. There probably is someone here who’s been through something similar, but in the meantime I just wanted to send you a big virtual hug.
I really hope that once you know what you’re dealing with, the reality will be better than your fears. Totally understandable that you’re terrified and low, your mind must be in a complete whirl. There’s no easy way to get through this horrible limbo stage and it’s only natural to fear the worst. You must also be feeling cheated that you’ve gone through all that treatment, only to be thrown back again.
Wish I could take it all away but I can only say that you’re not alone. Keep posting, sometimes just ‘saying it’ brings some sort of relief.
Love and hugs, HFxxxx

HappyFeet1 xx

Don’t be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts. – Hopi

Monalisa1869 over 3 years ago in reply to HappyFeet1

Thanks - I feel exactly that as if it’s all being thrown back in my face again. I just have to find a way to move forward but right now I just can’t lz

Wobbly1 over 3 years ago in reply to Monalisa1869

Hi Monalisa I’m sorry you’re feeling so low waiting for results is such an anxious time. When it’s all consuming I try and watch a good series on catch up and it helps take it away for a while. Hoping that this turns out to be a separate and benign issue. Wishing you all the best xx

GANDER over 3 years ago

Sending massive hugs. X

Mag123 over 3 years ago

Hi Monalisa1869,

It sounds like you are having a really horrible time and the waiting in limbo is not easy at all. As Happyfeet1 has said, once you know what you are facing you will gain the strength to deal with whatever treatment is needed. You have done it already, as you say you have already coped with having to have chemo. So you know you can do it.

I can't offer you any advice as my experience has not been similar but please know we are here for you.

Monalisa1869 over 3 years ago in reply to Mag123

Thanks - I feel a bit calmer today. I was fortunate to have Macmillan counselling during my breast cancer treatment and I’m trying not to look too far forward and just on what I need to get through the next hour or day. It is tough but I’m trying lxx

fhgirl over 3 years ago in reply to Monalisa1869

Hi Monalisa1869

I agree with what the other ladies have said.

Waiting for tests and then waiting for results is so difficult but as you say try to not look too far forward and all the awful scenarios which are being played out in your head are just that - scenarios.

One day at a time x

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