A long time ago, well it feels like a long time ago I had a double mastectomy and a full node clearance. It's about 14 weeks actually. I sailed through chemo so predicted trouble with the surgery. Having recovered now from sepsis and cellulitous it is time to take stock and consider what I have been left with.
I have never worried about looking at my scar and haven't hidden it from anyone. Yesterday my eight year old granddaughter and I were getting dressed after swimming. She wanted to know why the scar looked purple still. She reassured me many weeks ago that it would fade and go white. Her Mum has a c section scar. I lifted my arms so she could look and compare the two sides. The infection has left its mark on the left. She spotted my dog ear at the end. I said it it looked like a nipple she disagreed and after some hesitation she said she thought it looked like a penis. Specifically the one on the boy Tiny Tears doll she plays with that belonged to my daughter. On closer inspection later I have to agree with her. On the other side I have a fold of skin that seems to droop more each day as the seroma shrinks.
To be quite honest the whole thing looks a mess.It wanders across my chest in a haphazard line punctuated at intervals with slight tucks and finished off at each side as described. This surgery was carried out by the Senior Consultant. His name was whispered in reverent tones by the BC nurses. I was expecting great things.
Am I expecting too much? I knew it wouldn't be pretty but I did expect tidy at least. I anticipated the scar would be very visible at first. I didn't think I'd need to hide my armpits. The flatness as I have said before doesn't bother me. The bad stitching does. Should I complain or just be grateful the surgery has been done?I
How do you feel about your scars?
