My Mum is driving me mad

Your Mum is a desperate woman who has not come to terms with your diagnosis, she is not ready to loose you and will try anything to try to reverse your cancer.  My Mum lost my brother many years ago and she died 3 months later of a broken heart, please try not to be too hard on her, she cannot help herself, a parent should never have to say goodbye to their child.  I am so sorry I cannot say anything that will truly help, sending love, Ann

I think you need to get your husband or her friend to tell her that her behaviour is upsetting you and not supportive.  I am a mother of adult child who has a MH condition and she or her hubby tell me if they feel I'm not being supportive.  It's ok, sometimes I need telling as we all get it wrong navigating things.  Her hubby is more tactful than my daughter though but we never fall out over.  

I’m so sorry to hear of your prognosis. This is obviously an upsetting time for you and your friends and family. Mum is clearly struggling with this news and unfortunately her coping techniques are not great at the moment, we are all capable of making wrong choices when we are struggling with life situations.

have you sat down with her and explained how you feel, does she know you wouldn’t go overseas even if you or anyone else had the money.

please don’t cut her out of your life, she is struggling as is all your friends and family she’s just desperate to keep you.

see if your husband or friends can talk to her, I think she just needs guidance to the right kind of support and how best to support you and your family.

I’m so sorry this is happening to you, sending you love and hoping this can be rectified with a better outcome for you and mum.

Sometimes "gentle" doesn't get the message across. From what you are saying her behaviour is quite extreme and I think that at this point she needs to be told, in no uncertain terms, that either she stops that immediately, or she loses you now rather than later because you would be blocking her on your phone an all social media, and bar her from your home. 

Others here said she has not come to terms with your diagnosis, and this may well be true, but at the moment she is creating a situation where it is all about her rather than about you, forcing you to spend precious mental energy on dealing with the situations she artificially creates. Regardless of how painful this may be for her, the first priority right now must be you, what is good for you, and cut out mercilessly anything that detracts from your quality of life.

It is quite possible that the threat alone would make her notice and change direction, but if it doesn't, drop her. You don't need this kind of thing around you, especially not now. Make sure you make it clear that she is welcome back the moment she decides she is willing to be there to support you (by that I mean give the support you want, not whatever it is she imagines you need.)