Hi all, I posted a few months back 3 weeks after my mastectomy. I was then expressing my confused feelings, I thought I had begun to move on but on reflection of my behaviour during the last couple of months I haven’t! I have a husband and 2 children. My world revolved around them until recently. Prior to cancer my husband was always very immature and not the best husband (amazing father though I have to say) before my diagnosis I actually asked him to leave but that only lasted a week and he was back to get me through all of this and honestly he was amazing. BUT I don’t know how I feel anymore, has anyone else gone through anything similar? I assumed cancer would be the thing to make our relationship ok again but I don’t know how I feel anymore. It’s like I have no patience for him anymore. I feel like I am acting very out of character for me, I am not putting in any effort and I am going out more than ever (not every night but once/twice a month) I just know I am not myself anymore!
I can’t get my head around why I just don’t feel normal
as I have now been treated (apart from hormone therapy) I thought I would just go back to life as it was!!
It feels good to get all that off my chest!!
Bless you. Firstly if you are having feelings then they are valid. We will all have different ones. I had a traumatic year before the cancer, my husband had a psychotic episode and spent the summer dealing police domestic abuse teams and child protection court cases.
so I was so wobbly and anxious about what he’d do next and his hounding when the diagnosis came in September that I don’t know how much is to do with that. I’m 9 weeks past mastectomy and still in a washing machine if feelings
However I’m not feeling the grief for the end of my marriage that I expected, I’m feeling a sense of determination about the next step and having a (very out of character) organising spree. I feel like if all that hadn’t happened I’d have been feeling differently by the end of this year anyway. Obviously my situation isn’t the same but what I’ve learned is that if you’re feeling something you should listen to it and not beat yourself up - not advising you what it means. But trust yourself and be kind to yourself. You e been through a lot, maybe you just need time to cycle through the feelings.
I saw this earlier
sending you all the best xx
