I'm awaiting a CT scan having just been diagnosed with breast cancer and needing mastectomy and lymph nodes out.

Hi Cupboard love I have responded to you in another post if thats any help? x

Hi

Another warm welcome to the community from me. I took a quick look at the other post that GRANNY59 mentioned and wanted to share a little about my story with you.

I don't think I'm particularly large-breasted, but my team did and when I was measured for a bra I came in at an F cup. I had more than one tumour and spread to my lymph nodes so was advised to have a mastectomy and node clearance. I asked for both breasts to be removed and was eventually approved for that but ultimately only had the one removed. The chance of you developing cancer in your other breast is not that high which is why they don't like to remove them both. The reason I wanted mine removed was because I didn't want reconstruction and didn't want one large breast and one flat. Also, I've always been fairly active and didn't like the thought of running and exercising with odd breasts. I had to be quite insistent and I had to have a psychological assessment. I'm telling you this so that you know you have options but I would also agree that you should let everything sink in before you start to make your decisions. It's been a little over 4 years since my treatment finished and I am getting on with my life and don't think too much about it. I sometimes question my choice, but I think I would probably be doing that whatever I chose

This is all very new for you and it takes time to sink in. it can take a little time to get through all the scans and appointments and start treatment. My BCN once told me a couple of weeks here or there won't make any difference and that reassured me. 

Please don't berate yourself for anything - you feel how you feel and you have every right to. It can be tough and everyone finds different things easy or not. I had absolutely no qualms about losing my hair, then it started to fall out and I went to pieces. I got used to it and would do it all again without a moment of hesitation if I had to, but we can't always predict the effect it will all have on us.

I'm sure your sister and daughters are finding this hard and it can be difficult for us to see that. Macmillan are here for them too and they are welcome to use this site, the helpline and chat facilities. If that's not the right solution (I didn't want my daughter to use the same site as me) then other cancer organisations like Maggies also have services for family and friends.

Now about you - we are here for you. We can't offer you biscuits but we have listening ears, shared experiences, chat, laughs, virtual hugs - anything you need to get through this.

Have a look around the site and join in whenever you feel comfortable, post whenever you have questions and just give us a shout when you need a hand.

Sending some of those virtual hugs

R

• Hi 

I have just seen your post and wanted to respond as I know just how you are feeling as I was in your situation 4 months ago. I can’t pass on any experience about a mastectomy as I knew I was to have a lumpectomy but I had node involvement, was terrified that the cancer had spread and the thought of having chemo and losing my hair filled me with sheer dread. 
I was lucky with my CT as I got the appointment through in a few days. Also my BCN  asked me to call her as soon as I had the date for the CT. She then pushed for the results to be ready for the next weekly team meeting so that things could move on as quickly as possible. I would suggest asking your BCN  if she can hurry things along for you. The waiting is so awful and the worst part of all this. I was constantly worried about any delay but each time chatted with my BCN who assured me that the timescales were perfectly ok. I can’t say that this took away all the worries but it does help to speak to the experts who are looking after you. They are dealing with this every day and I found the support from my BCN invaluable. I am now halfway through chemo and have had the same support from the oncology nurses. 
In no way are you being frivolous or vain. This is a very personal trauma for each and every one of us and we all deal with it in our own way. I cannot comment on the loss of a breast but I have lost a nipple and I hate that. I still resist looking at that breast unless I really have to. 
There are lots of ladies on here who have had a mastectomy and I hope you can get some advice from them. 
As for the hair loss, you may have the option of the cold cap. In most cases there is still some hair loss but often enough is retained to help you feel at least relatively normal. Just keep this in your mind until you get to the chemo stage. It certainly helped me.

Good luck  It isn’t easy but you can get through this and there is always someone on here ready to chat and offer moral support 

Hi cupboardlove,

Hi Cupboardlove,

oh how lovely! I'm useless on this site navigation wise, but practise makes perfect.

I've tootled along living life in a parallel universe to cancer. Now I've changed lanes and feel I am priveliged to join a sisterhood of such lovely women.

I salute you all. .your wisdom and empathy has made me feel courageous and inspired. I know this feeling will wax and wane through chemo and mastectomy,  but I am the only person in my "cancer boat" so I can either sail through my storm or crash onto the rocks.

I have now met you lovely ladies so hopefully I can keep my (soon to be hairless) chin up and carry on calmly.

Hugs to you all,

Cupboard love!! xx

hello xxx

you made me cry, you are amazing and thank you so much for your wonderful message. I'm inspired by you and I hope I can be as brave.

xxx

Hi, so sorry I keep trying to reply and my phone glitched out. I am just a little way ahead of you on this journey having had a double mastectomy on 21st Dec and now trying to prepare myself for chemo. Similarly my diagnosis absolutely blew my mind- and that of my husband. As a previously super healthy, active, healthy eating individual I struggled to work out why this had happened to me. I have since tried to inform myself about the disease and how best to plan my path forwards. I pursued ever test available; I’ve had CT, Nuclear bone scan and MRI and I have to say waiting is the hardest part. Harder than anything I have ever done before, harder than the surgery in fact.  Taking control does seem to help a little-diet, routines and planning ahead have all been important to me. Trying not to look too far ahead is a great discipline too. It is not frivolous to feel broken apart by the loss of hair and breasts-for me this too is awful but even more so the potential loss of playing competitive sport.  That might seem a little strange but we all place value on different things. Coming to terms with this is a work in progress but I know that I have to retain the aspects of me and my life that I value and enjoy the most. You will still be essentially you without your hair and breasts even if you don’t think so right now. Your family will still love and respect you-and you also need to love and respect yourself. It will take time-I am a month down the line and can now look at my scars without flinching. Hair loss is yet another hurdle and I sometimes worry that my 10 year old son won’t look at me the same way. I am however more than my hair...and I trust he will remember that! On a final note, I have started reading ‘The Cancer Whisperer’ and it is helping me to reset my attitudes and judgements and I am seeking some counselling to dig deeper in to addressing my emotional response. Remember to put your energy where it will best serve you and be kind to yourself whatever you are facing. I wish you strength and love, Klertie

what an amazing woman you are. if anything has come out of this horrible period of my life it is the fact I have met you!

Keep in touch h xx