What others think

Hi Debs and (sadly) welcome.  If those of who have been posting for a while had a penny for every time we'd heard such thoughtless remarks we'd all be rich . You had the same diagnosis as me. The next few weeks wil ve z rollercoaster. Hop on to the  AWAKE thread  there's always someone available for zb chat 24/7 usually. We're all complete fruit loops but you'll get lots of support and laughs as well. Its been going now for 3yeas+

Ofcourse DCIS is cancer.....it's just in the duct rather than the tissue. Whoever suggested to you otherwise needs to go on the NHS site and check out the definitions. Your treatment will be equally as difficult as anyone else albeit probably without chemo but often with a mastectomy which in itself will take time to adjust too. Don't  feel guilty that you have been told this is the best type of cancer....people use that expression as a reassurance but ' best' in no way indicates you are a fraud.

Lots of us find we change our friend set during our cancer treatments. Not every friend can empathise with our situation....understanding often only comes with experience.

As    says ....you will find lots of new friends on the Awake thread. There is humour there but experience from newly diagnosed to those whose cancer appeared over 20 years ago.

Remember everyone's diagnosis is equally important. Yes, there are various types and situations....yes, treatments vary and responses differ...but there are no scores for the ' worst case ' or ' best ' scenario. We are all in this together and for the duration which will probably be our lifetime.

Take care. Stay covid safe and hopefully your results and protocol won't  be delayed by the lockdown which has begun.

Love Karen

Hi Debs

I totally understand your 'rant' and everyone on this site knows how awful and devastating a cancer diagnosis is, whatever the type. And no way are you a fraud!

However, I am going to be a little controversial and say that I think it is also human nature to be 'envious' or possibly 'resentful' at times that some of us have a more easily treatable variant of the disease. That said, I do not in way condone those thoughts being put into words to someone who is going through this nightmare - and it is a nightmare for each and every one of us. Personally, I have avoided this forum for a few days as each post I read seemed to involve someone with a less serious diagnosis than me and who has got through or is going to get through treatment much more quickly and has a much more positive prognosis than me. This has adversely affected my already very fragile state of mind and so I stayed away. That to me seemed the appropriate action rather than putting those feelings into words. I appreciate that I am now voicing those feelings but it is in no way directed at you - I think I am just saying that we are all going through a **** time and we all need to think of each other and understand each other's feelings.

Incidentally, I have had similar comments made to me regarding how 'lucky' I was that my positive node was found on ultrasound and the clearance could be dealt with at the same time as the lumpectomy and to have had a CT scan due to the node. Can't say that I felt lucky to have node involvement . I did think that perhaps these thoughts should not have been voiced but I could understand them.

Waiting for treatment to start is the worst time and you are right to be thinking of yourself. Hope that you soon know what lies ahead for you and that all goes well.

Thank you to you lovely ladies for your response.  I should have said that the comments to which I refer were not on this site. I understand that on here we are all on our individual journeys no matter what the diagnosis. It was from another support website I dipped into and from 'friends' who I assume were trying to be supportive but failed miserably. 

Mri results been brought forward to tomorrow. 

Thanks again ladies x

Thank you to you lovely ladies for your response.  I should have said that the comments to which I refer were not on this site. I understand that on here we are all on our individual journeys no matter what the diagnosis. It was from another support website I dipped into and from 'friends' who I assume were trying to be supportive but failed miserably. 

Mri results been brought forward to tomorrow. 

Thanks again ladies x

Hi Debs

The comments that I received were on another support forum too! Possibly the same one. I agree that the support from everyone on here has been amazing. And I only kept away from here as some of the posts were adversely affecting me - and that was purely down to my current very fragile mental state. 

Fingers crossed for your results.

Just tell them to bugger off . Everyone is a bloody expert on your diagnosis just like everyone is now an expert on COVID and the transmission of diseases, effect of lockdown or not even though the so called experts can't agree.!!!!  I'm in Wales, we are heading out of our firebreak so now we are back to we should follow England or require blooming passports to allow English into Wales ! Gosh I'm crabby !!!

There’s no easy way to tell ignorant people that cancer is cancer, is there?
People said to our daughter that Hodgkin’s Lymphoma was a ‘good’ sort of cancer to get; but it took her over 7 years to reach any sort of remission, and that was with her third trial drug as they’d long run out of other options! And then she needed to go through a donor bone marrow transplant which could have killed her, but didn’t. 
if your ‘friends’ tell you this then maybe they need to get told in no uncertain terms that cancer is cancer! (There is such a thing as culling your list of so-called friends)

sending understanding hugs xxx

Just to add that quite a few women (breast cancer,  mastectomy,  usually chemo and sometimes hormone blockers) on a DIEP forum I'm a member of have been told how lucky they are to get a free tummy tuck by the NHS! When I finally have mine in the next year or two if I'm told that I think I'll tie then to a chair and make them watch the surgery on YouTube!

That made me laugh Carol.

Thanks for your support girls x