Struggling

Hi Julie  /  Charlieandlola

That is a cr*p situation to find yourself in, you are having surgery soon as well aren't you ?

Tormenting is putting it nicely, if he has no money coming in and you could cope financially maybe it would be better for your sanity to tell him to move in with Lilo Lil and let you fly solo.....

Sounds like your husband is up for some sort of award but I won't say what I think it should be but it involves a pineapple being inserted  

Cancer usually brings out the best in people, but you would be surprised how many blokes react this way and run to the hills :-/

Sorry the way this is phrased but I've seen a lot of messages just like yours and it brings out the worst in me - I can't see how someone who supposedly loved you can behave this way when you need him most.... Sigh!

Group Hugs Julie, G n' J

Froot Loops to the Rescue 

Hello

I know, I really loved him. I've been a good wife but I knew of his reputation when I married him. Maybe the bad boy image attracted me but he couldn't cope when I had a hysterectomy 10 years ago. The day I was discharged he fetched me from the hospital and went to the pub.

 I've asked him to move out but he wont.

Julie x

Perhaps that is where you are going wrong ?

If you ask someone they can say No, but if you 'tell them' it takes away that option... or could he get nasty ?

Lots of other ladies here will have something to say about this, so I'll let them give you their opinions and some better advice.

G n' J

Hi Julie / Charileandlola,

How Dreadful for you. I think, if you can, ignore him and focus solely on you; it’s natural to panic, but you will be in the safest of hands, and the nurses will be there for you every step of the way. Listen to your body, ask for help whenever you need it. The is your time, for you to get well, and move past your diagnosis to the next phase. I’ve found the best way for me to deal with things is in phases, bitesize chunks, the next thing that I have to do.. it helps channel your energy and focus on what’s important. You might even feel stronger for it, and I truly hope you do. Remember, everyone who does really care for you, is really rooting for you and on your side.

sending lots of love and hugs

BeauMum xx

Hello

He probably will turn nasty if I try to get him out. Hes on his phone constantly. He thinks hes done nothing wrong!  I'm probably 20th in line to all the other victims hes hurt. I'm really worried he wont look after me after my surgery on Monday. I cant go anywhere else because of covid. I hate him right now!  It's so cruel.

I've had such a good response to chemotherapy and am now on herceptin and perjeta and luckily no real side effects. Got to have lumpectomy and auxiliary clearance as it was in a couple. MRI showed a complete response at the moment. I just hope I survive and go on to have a great life as a single lady.

Julie x

If you think that out could be difficult getting him to go then maybe document things.  I'd also let your team know that you might not have any support (with a brief description letting then know it could be difficult after surgery). They might keep you in overnight until you're a bit stronger and less woozy from the anaesthetic.

Good luck on Monday.  Xxxx

Thank you londonmumof2 

I'm going to mention it and hope I'm kept in overnight. I cant believe this is happening  as if cancer wasnt enough xxxx

Charlieandlola first of all a big hug for you.

I agree with everything said, he doesn't deserve you, and you most definitely deserve better.

I'm single, have been for a long time and to be honest when i was having treatment it was so much easier because i only had myself to please and had no pressure from anyone for anything. Send him on his way he'll soon realise the grass isn't greener on the other side and you will come out of this a much stronger person. As a very good band say "Cos shes stronger than she knows a heart of steel starts to grow"

Now the op, are you having a lumpectomy or a mastectomy??? not bragging but i've had both, in fact i had 2 lumpectomies lol 

All i will say is they are no where near as bad as you imagine them to be, my nurse explained because they cut through nerves its not too painful. I found over the counter pain killers worked, lumpectomy out the same day and after my mastectomy out after 6 days (but that was only because i wanted to stay in) come ask questions, and this time next week it will all be done.

Take Care 

Keeping talking xxx

Hi Charlieandlola,

 I srongly second what the others have said. the actual operation will not be as bad as you are thinking at the moment,  honestly. you will probably only need over the counter pain killers post op. As to your other problem I am astounded how selfish he is being.Do talk to your team  and hopefully they may be able to put you in touch with a support service-even in these covid times they are still in existance and willing to help.I take it you don't have a relative or close friend who can help? Speak to your GP they can refer you for help I think. Sending you big hugs and trust that your operation will go well .xx

Hello

Thank you for your reply I really appreciate it. 

I'm having lumpectomy and lymph nodes out. I'm really scared of what's to come both with the surgery and with my personal life. I thought we were happy. I feel very lonely as it's a second marriage  now my children and parents wont have anything to do with him which in turn will affect any visits once the lockdown eases. He refuses to move out.

Love your love of the script

Julie x