Struggling with how my breasts look after surgery

Hi Naid..

Look in the mirror, you are still beautiful

If one flower wilts,  the rest of the bouquet is beautiful

If a bough on a tree breaks, the tree is still majestic

Now look in the mirror, you are still beautiful..

Hope you feel better soon.

MO  xxx

Hello i think you will find a lot of people feel or have felt the way you feel.

I had 2 lumpectomies in the hope i could save my boob but in the end needed a mastectomy with immediate reconstruction.This was 6 weeks ago. It took me at least 3 weeks before i could look at it. My boobs no longer match, my new boob (the one that had the lump removed) doesn't have a nipple and is smaller than my old boob. My old boob is softed and more droopy (thats what you get for breast feeding lol) 

Last Friday i went to Primark and they do bras that are padded without underwires, when i put them on i look no different. The padding makes my new boob look the same size as my old one. 

I have an appointment for November when i can have a new nipple and have my new boob made bigger or my old boob made smaller. I'm like you and at the minute can't face any more surgery, but who knows how i will feel in the future. I can't help with the pain as i didn't really have much but i do know that i had a hollow after my mastectomy and it has filled up and my boob is now a nice booby shape.

Don't get me wrong it makes me feel sad, but i have to remind myself that at least i have beat this. 

Have you thought of having any kind of counselling? i know i have especially once all this is over. 

You can always give Macmillan a ring on 0808 808 00 00 they're open 8am-8pm 7 days a week. Or ring your breast care nurse and speak to her.

You've also got us lovely lot to talk to anytime you want to xx

Dear , 

You have to keep reminding yourself, these are very, very early days yet, its only some 8 weeks following your surgery.  It is amazing the amount of varying emotion we go thought with this BC.  When I was first diagnosed, I was 'take them off', just get it out of me.  I was offered a 'therapeutic mammaplasty', I was then told, I would not need this as the appearance would not be 'too different'.  My head was still in the 'get it out of me, I don't care what happens'.

Then we have the operation and we start to 'try' to move forward.  I did not want to look at my boob for a good few weeks following the operation, the scar was amazing (or should I say lack of it) however, I could see a triangular shape dent in my boob, so I stopped looking at myself.  I found doing this stopped me thinking about it all, it was as if when I looked in the mirror there was this massive reminder of 'what had happened' - so I stopped looking.  Slowly week after week, month after month, my shape has changed, the dent has filled in to the point that is has almost disappeared, I do still have one boob larger than the other - but, in the bigger picture 'this is nothing' - we have to remember this and what we have gone through. 

Once the healing has settled down, don't you forget 'you have had major surgery' there is still a lot of healing going on inside your body and also mentally.  Maybe, after a while, I wonder if you could have 'fat' injected into the area (I feel I have read this on another thread) - this may fill out the gap.  Plus, I do believe your body will change how you look over time - it is very early days, don't be hard on yourself. 

With regard to the sore nipple, I can't answer this, keep an eye on this, to make sure it's not infected or it could even be an internal stitch causing the discomfort. It would be worth you asking your Breast Care Nurse to have look.

Give your body time to heal itself first - You can do this, you are doing amazing - you really are, like I say, it is early days.

Sending love and hugs xxx

Hi

I am surprised that they can't do reconstruction at the time of surgery as I am left feeling similarly to you.  I'm 2 years down the line and I needed 8cm removed from my left breast.  At my first appointment with the surgeon (when it was confirmed I had cancer), she said "you might be left with a dent".  The next time I saw a surgeon it was the male surgeon and not the one I'd seen initially and it was a couple of hours before the operation after the wires had been inserted etc and just waiting for my operation slot.  He said "you will definitely be left with a dent".  I'd had no time to get used to the idea to the fact that I would definitely have a dent and not had time to think of any questions in relation to it.  Now, I have a huge dent, 3 inch scar and my nipple has been stretched and is to the left towards the dent quite dramatically.  (although in a full support bra they don't look too bad, so at least that is something and I am 'better off' than you in that respect.

It took a good year after the operation (due to radio) before it had settled to the stage it is now, but if they can do immediate reconstruction with a mastectomy, why couldn't they do some sort of implant for us?  I had my final appointment with my BC nurse and she said the same as yours that I can 'have surgery later' but like you - I don't want any more cutting about!  It took a good year before it stopped hurting when I lifted something, I don't want to have to go through all that again - surely it would have made sense to sort us out at the time?

Sorry I can't offer any advice but just to let you know that I'm with you all the way with how you are left feeling.

Kindest wishes,

Before i had my second lumpectomy my surgeon/consultant told me that if it was a success he would have me back to fill in the space with the fat from my middle tyre. He said he would cut underneath my boob and push the fat into the space,

Unfortunately i didn't get the all clear and needed a mastectomy so can't say how it would work or look but an option to maybe mention next time you see someone.

Hi there,

The breast does get its shape back in time, I had a dent but it's almost disappeared. I massaged the area too to soften the scar tissue and I reckon that helped with the shape. The size difference remains but padded bras make it impossible to notice. Give yourself time, I was so shocked when I saw my breast the first time after surgery. Now I have to squint to see the scar. Time heals...

All the best x

Hi

It is such early days and time heals. My lumpectomy resulted in my right boob being smaller than the left one. i knew as soon as I came round from the operation it felt smaller and softer.

I actually remember posting on here and people answered with various suggestions, because frocks and tops pulled to the side and I felt so self conscious. But do you know I have completely got used to it and think of the right boob as the junior boobie who needs more looking after than the other.

I wear tight tee shirts and don't give a fluff, as the junior boob is small but still a member of the team  

Give yourself time to get used to these changes and I'm sure there is something called lipofilling where they squirt fat in or to plump up the dent if you want. I don't think its an operation more of a optional procedure.

You're still lovely and the poor little boob is lovely it just needs a bit of time to settle down, oh and it needs a nice new set of soft bras with knickers to match and you need chocolate, and wine and new shoes and a jacket, basically you need spoiling.

I will shut up now, sending love and hugs xxxx

Hi TheScriptFan

Thanks so much for both your replies. I don't have any friends or family members who have been through this so it's really lovely to have feedback from women who actually understand what it's like. 

I think I'll have a look in Primark. Prior to my surgery I bought a couple of really soft Sloggi bras that are really comfortable. they have moulded cups but as the swelling has gone down in my breast, I've noticed the cups aren't strong enough to hold their shape. As a result the difference is my breast size, height and shape is noticeable even when I'm dressed. 

Regarding counselling, I'm on the waiting list at the Breast Clinic. In the meantime, I've spoken to my GP, who has been supportive and Macmillan have been amazing. Bottom line is, I just want to talk with women who've been through this.

Let me know what you decide regarding further surgery. November is a long way off, you might be ready for it by then?

big hugs xx

Hi WhatHappened, thanks for your reply. 

You're right, part of the problem, is the constant visual reminder of the trauma of what we've been through. I've been strict with myself about looking at it every day because I know I have a tendency to bury things and go into denial and for me personally, I don't think it will help in the long run. 

It's very encouraging to hear that your dent has filled in. At the moment, my post surgery swelling is still subsiding so every week the hollow is becoming more pronounced. I have a large scar (from the outer edge of my breast, across to and around the nipple), fortunately, it doesn't bother me. Maybe because I was prepared for the scar but I wasn't given any information about how my breast would look after the surgery, so it's been a shock.

You're right about remembering I had major surgery, I forget this sometimes. I get overwhelmed by the emotion and start being hard on myself. I guess I need to work on that the most

Thanks so much for your help, hugs xxx

Hi Lesley, it would've been great if they could have reconstructed at the same time as the surgery! 

Unfortunately, I think it's a bit harder with a lumpectomy because they don't always know what the outcome of the surgery will be. As far as I'm aware, it's not unusual for people to require further surgery after a lumpectomy (for instance, if the margins aren't clear) and radiotherapy changes the breast even more. 

Like you though, I was given little to no information about what to expect visually and I think that's made it harder to deal with. I don't mind the scar because I expected it to be large and I know it will fade. It's the other 'surprises' (the size change, height, dent, position of the nipple etc), I think I might have handled it better if they'd taken the time to explain it to me prior to the surgery. Like you, it all happened so fast, I didn't have time to process what was happening and work out what to ask.

I've since been told I can have an appointment with my breast doctor in September to discuss a plastic surgery consult. I'm considering requesting the consult just to find out what options might be available to me. Other people here have mentioned lipofilling which doesn't require surgery although, I'm not certain it will be suitable for me because I'm very skinny, so I'm not sure they'll find enough fat anywhere to fill my empty boob! But, I figure it's worth exploring options. At the very least, a plastic surgeon might be able to give me a more accurate idea of what to expect long term. 

Thanks for taking the time to message, any time you want to talk, I'm here

Naid xx