AWAKE.........

I hope it is ok to be here on and off. There are days where I am on few forums trying not to complain rather but more give some hope and comfort to people who struggle. But then I just cant read anymore and need a deep breath away, not to think about my ilness, doc apps and everything else. 

The reason why I cant sleep (is it cold? ) is only my fault - I get it. And promise to take bigger care about myself. But on the other hand - it is hard to adjust the life and understand not everything I used to do I still can/should do. There will be risk now and then, so will try to be wiser when making decision. 

Awww,  , there are times that you simply have to look after yourself; take care of the carer, as if you don't, then you won’t be fit to do all you wish to do. So please don’t feel you always need to give help to those who are struggling. I too found this hard especially during the last year of taking care of my failing husband. Physically it took its toll on my back as well as sleep deprivation. 

I really hope you’re asleep now…..

Hugs xxx

Unfortunately had to call acute nurse and despite I said I will be fine she advise me to go to hospital Now in A&E waiting for blood test results and doctor but Im.ok. Just a bit of high temp but I trust my body will cope with it A bit embarassed tbh looking at all those people waiting for so long. So grateful to have chemo card ️

@Whathappened     Must admit I thought why bark ? The only effect recipe mentions is use cocktail stick to marble .

It was a practice one and needs to be thinner next time and more care taken with bits and bobs . This is recipe picture 

The great thing is it’s just chocolate so brilliant for youngsters to do with supervision ( hot choc) 

Hope it’s quickly sorted,   and you get some well needed rest once home again. Yes there are times that jumping the queue IS needed. 

Hugs xxx

Oh Scotland, if you are feeling unwell you have done just the right thing. I haven't read your bio but if you have had Chemo you really need to be quick off the mark if you have a high temperature and anyone who has had cancer needs to be careful with suppressed immunity. Hoping they get you feeling better really soon. Sending hugs

Hope you'll fee better soon Scotland.

Daisy53

Thank you for all the wishes. Its been 6h now. Blood test says low infection. 12h waiting is announced as average I guess? It is my first time in A&E and nurse helping me as they can (Im always saying how grateful I am - which is true - and it "opens many doors") I understand I have to wait. Its just nowhere safe to seat in terms of being away from people. I am affraid that staying at home and doing things my way would be much more efficient and no risk to catch sth. However I wasnt sure for 100% that this is not something very very serious. Im just worrying that next time I will need help I will make different decision and it wont have positive outcome. 

  I'm glad you have got the medical attention you needed. Dont be backward at requesting help xxx

 Lacomtekp I loved the pics of Mum loving life ! I hope you send to sister same pics, to show her how it should be done.

 moomy I hope your back is much better, yes it would be nursing hubs. Mine is totally knackered from doing similar over years.

 Violetsniff I'm going to have to get back to church. It lifts you. I love your pics. Can you not ask a neighbour to help with the lighting in the little house? It seems a shame.

 Northerner cracking baking there  

 WhatHappened carry on doing your best with the arrangements. You're so thoughtful it probably holds you up. Whereas I am ruthless so everything is done. 

In guinea pig news. Miss Scarlett O'Hara has graciously waved a fond goodbye to Bacup and has come to live with me to keep.me company. She is huge,  but has no plans to slim down, cutting back on food is not an option.

Here are a couple of pics

Hi   I agree with Helen Snowys Mum  that waiting in A&E is the best way to go, to be sure you’re ok, some folk still use it badly, don’t feel guilty as you’re doing the right thing!

 Snowys Mum  my back is better than it was for the first little while after hubs died, very likely due to the CBD, thanks so much for the guidance. My back won’t ‘get better’ due to longstanding degenerative changes due to a bad scoliosis but the pain levels are much more controlled than they were. Miss Scarlett is a lovely colour! Hope she helps to at least partly help heal that Graham-sized hole. 

Pants! Son has this morning tested positive, he decided to test as he was feeling sniffly and has a bit of a cough. As I saw him Friday I tested too, but negative thus far. I suspect incubation is quite short with current variants and as he was mixing in a (very cold) church on Saturday I suspect he probably got caught then. Fingers firmly crossed he’ll be ok for Christmas, even if we might need to delay by a day or so. I do remember one year we four had to delay till February to get together and celebrate! 

Hugs xxx