AWAKE.........

Pleased you’re feeling well seaspirit44 and review was good. My mammogram for Monday was cancelled... found out 2 covid19 patients being treated at local hospital so non urgent appointments must now being cancelled. Xx

Northerner.. hoping the government financial strategies will help your family. Perhaps uni places will be there once this has settled as US will be doing the same as here.

Dont apologise

xx

Thinking of you all during this difficult time. 

Came back from India on Tuesday. Flight less than half full. No instructions / checks on landing at Heathrow. We were the only 2 people in a carriage on the underground for most of that journey... quite surreal.  The train journeys home were relatively empty.  There must be many people stuck in other countries who can’t get home now because of the closing of borders.  We don’t know when we will get back to see family.

just hearing on radio that farms will need workers soon. Registering interest now.

Stay safe Fruit Loops

hugs xx

Thinking of you all, dear fruit loops, popped in during the night to replenish the sleepy fairy dust, but didn’t post, I saw quite a few had taken some, and hoped that even with all the worry, you all managed to get some welcome shut-eye!

hoping the angst eases, I watched a bit of breakfast tv but got really irritated with the treasury minister who avoided answering any question he was asked in spite of the pressing he was given! 

Think the self employed, and those about to leave school and facing no work being out there for them need to be thought about now, so I hope that minister will get his act together!
love and virus free hugs xxx

Hi everyone sorry haven't read back but love  to everyone. Xxx hope all ok.

Been struggling lots with tummy issues diagnosed celiac last year and now have strict Gluten free diet but sadly still struggling. Now going lactose free for four weeks as well which as I don't eat meat and can't eat wheat is proving hard especially now food all gone in shops  Everyone has took gluten free pasta as normal has sold which is annoying  

Had plans to go somewhere nice today for Mothers Day plus we had lots of tickets booked next few month so that's all changed but I know it's a small price  to pay. Think we're making picnic instead for car drive.

Not sure how hubby wage will go on next few month and older daughter having panic as she is nursery staff and has to work but as there isn't many children going to be in she wanted her nine year olds school to be flexible as she may only work a few days a week  School won't do that though so she'll need a bit of help.

I had my number 6 bisposphonate infusion in few weeks so expect it will be cancelled Uggh. Love to all x

Morning Fruit Loops, hope we are all staying Safe xx

A friend sent me this so though it was worth a share xx

A poem for us all...

THE TIME WE SPRING-CLEANED THE WORLD 

The world it got so busy,
There were people all around.
They left their germs behind them;
In the air and on the ground.

These germs grew bigger and stronger.
They wanted to come and stay.
They didn’t want to hurt anyone -
They just really wanted to play.

Sometimes they tried to hold your hand,
Or tickled your throat or your nose.
They could make you cough and sneeze
And make your face as red as a rose.

And so these germs took over.
They started to make people ill,
And with every cough we coughed
More and more germs would spill.

All the queens and kings had a meeting.
“It’s time to clean the world up!” they said.
And so they had to close lots of fun stuff,
Just so these germs couldn’t spread.

We couldn’t go to cinemas
Or restaurants for our tea.
There was no football or parties,
The world got as quiet as can be.

The kids stopped going to school,
The mums and dads went to work less.
Then a great, big, giant scrubbing brush
Cleaned the sky and the sea and the mess!

Dads started teaching the sums,
Big brothers played with us more,
Mums were in charge of homework
And we read and played jigsaws galore!

The whole world was washing their hands
And building super toilet roll forts!
Outside was quiet and peaceful,
Now home was the place for all sports.

So we played in the world that was home
And our days filled up with fun and love,
And the germs they grew smaller and smaller
And the sun watched from up above.

Then one morning the sun woke up early,
She smiled and stretched her beams wide.
The world had been fully spring cleaned,
It was time to go back outside!

We opened our doors oh so slowly
And breathed in the clean and fresh air.
We promised that forever and always
Of this beautiful world we’d take care! 

Louise Gribbons

Well, here I am again ,being anxious !

had blood test as usual Thursday, went to clinic appointment Friday as usual.

first saw junior doctor who said my bloods are find ,not neutropenic , tumour markers unchanged ....

she went off to print the prescription for capecitabine tablets to start next Monday.

while she was gone ,the consultant came in and said she had come to say hello .

she asked me if I wanted to continue treatment, and of course I said yes ( 2 weeks ago she told me I was coping very well with the side effects ,and the tumour was stable ) 

she then said we need to plan for the future and write a plan , she was “ willing “ to let me have 2 more weeks chemo , but then “ decisions would have to be made “ , she told me that if I was in-hospital for ANY reason I would get fluids , oxygen only ,antibiotics would be decided at the time, however I would not get aside room , even if immunosuppressed, would not get surgery , or be taken to a high dependence bed , in addition chemo would stop and not be restarted .

she said that normally there would be a consultation with the patient regarding their resuscitation , but this is not for me , they would  not “ put in any effort to save me “ 

she then wrote  all this down ,photocopied  it and gave it to me ......to take away, to say  had  “ agreed “ . Then she said my scan might be cancelled , but even if I get it, there would be a decision next month about how long I will e treated , and  if capecitabine becomes in short supply , this would be stopped ,and I would not be offered an alternative . I must be stupid, because I have been going along with minimal side effects ,and the scans so far have been stable , and it never occurred tome they would stop treatment,up till now it has been , if cape stops working , we have other drugs .

there are people posting on the breast cancer forum ,who have been told something similar , but I have not seen anything on here ....I hope you are all getting treatment !! 

Do you really think this will happen , I feel fairly well and am so stunned ?

i seem to be getting more scared as I am alone ,and it is going round in my head 

hope you are all getting on ok , even if isolated    X

Firstly I want to offer you the (((((((((((BIGGEST HUG))))))))))))) 

I just don't know what to say!! That is just unbelievable. I know we are heading into unchartered territory BUT surely there are better ways of dealing with things!! By that I mean with at least a little compassion!! 

I think we all know that if things carry on the way they are going we might reach a point where there aren't enough drugs to go around or worse still enough ventilators or even beds!! However that doesn't need to be relayed to you in such a heartless and uncaring manner! You are worth more than that! Yes you have a disease that will eventually kill you, as do I and many of the other fruit loops BUT our lives are still worth fighting for if that's what we want to do! 

It's a very scary situation if doctors have to decide who is worth treating......who deserves it more......whose life is worth more? A cancer patient with limited time left or a prisoner who is spendng the next 30years in prison for murder?? Are they being asked to sign the same paperwork? I bet they aren't! 

Surely this disease will claim the lives of so many who are too weak to fight it off. But that's not for the consultants to decide! This situation is scary enough without going through what you have been through. I am angry for you and all I can say is stick 2 fingers up to that consultant and keep yourself as well as you can! IF they run low on these drugs you fight to get your dose, because if it's working he has to have a good argument to prevent you from continuing with it! 

Please don't let this consultant get to you! Please don't keep re reading the paperwork. I would say file it in the bin where it belongs! But maybe just in a drawer somewhere! Concentrate on the here and now. Look after yourself and keep in touch with family and friends via the phone/internet! Don't give up Hun, you are worth so much more than this!

I Really am so angry that you were put through this! Sending lots of Love your way Hun. I wish I could take away your fear and anxiety! Just remember we are all here to listen. We aren't giving up on you. Sal xxxxxx

sal ...thanks for your everlasting support

I hope no one else is told this !

Dear , 

I can’t believe this!!!! How can they dish you out with this????? You are surely worth sooooo much more than they are giving you credit for? 

sending you the most gigantic hug xxxxxxx