AWAKE.........

Well done Karen (toxophilite) at least its done now! Fingers firmly crossed for some positive results! Obviously we are all here for you while you wait for results! Love you my Special Friend xxxxx

Glad it's done toxophilite, and hope you do not have to wait too long for results, and hoping for good news! Xx

Having panic attacks. I know this is normal, probably. I know I just need to chill. But struggling. 

I was wondering if anyone could help with a few queries, firstly has anyone had positive experience of tamoxifen? All I read are negative

also, I’m 40. Is it possible I will still be alive when I’m 70? Obviously it depends on a lot of factors, but yes lumpectomy, radiation therapy and possibly chemotherapy will keep me around for longer...but just how long are we talking? What’s realistic? I’m freaking out reading statistics like 65% will live 20 yrs past diagnosis. 65%? I’m being awfully selfish I know. I just can’t get my head round this. I’m completely having a panic attack and feel like jumping out of a window just to stop this intense feeling of despair.

Hi, if you're seriously thinking of jumping out the window, ring 6e Samaritans now.

Don't believe statistics. That's all they are. We're all individuals. No one even docs can tell u how long you'll live for..Tho they might sometimes act like it, they're not God lol

Yes, u r panicking n need to talk to the helpline as soon as they open at 8 on 0808 808 0000. Meantime know someone else is awake n thinking of u.  Try. deep breaths. It really does help. 

Big hugs xx 

I'm suppose to be going to bed - just looked at the Awake thread and so much to read and say...

LondonLass, I was going to ask if this was your sister on the right side of the photograph, then I read it is your sister, you are both so much alike.

I have to say this too, owww toxophilite, you post made me laugh, it is my sense of humour and most may not get this when I say...

Toxophilite, fancy saying this, fancy call the radiologist that - I'll leave everyone to try and work out how I am reading the last sentence of your first paragraph hahaha

You know Marmalade looks a little like Baxter aka Mr. Bling the kitty I am trying to get neutered and then adopt (sneakily, I will get him microchip without hubby knowing) - he keeps going missing when I have booked appointments, that's the cat, not hubby!!
It seems to be a work in progress, it's like he knows if I've booked an appointment - he then goes missing for a day or two, coming back beaten up arrrghhh - it is a work in progress, I will get there, I will.

Baxter, aka Mr. Bling...

Right, its 2:38 am !! I'm going to bed zzZZZzzz 

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend - Nighty Night xxx

Btw, don't  have breast  cancer. Just saw your post.so butted in.

Owww , I am sorry you are feeling like this..... the sad thing is 'it is natural' - we have all been where you are.  Honestly, give it a few days, you'll read a few more posts, you will feel more at ease.  You won't understand it now, it's all new to you, so you won't truly realise all that you are thinking and feeling is natural.  I am nearly 2 years in and I can still remember how I felt when I heard those words.... I still can't freely say them. On here I always type BC.  

I think 'get the statistics' out of your head, because, like the other lady said, they are just that 'statistics'..... What I will say is, in a way, we are the lucky ones that go on to develop a better out look on life, we appreciate things more - because we have been shown how life can change in a heart beat.  You are blessed that it has been picked up early.

Back to statistics, I will be cruel here, its how I had to think of things..... how many people went out to work today and have not gone home (accidents, fights, you name it) - they don't fit in with the statistics. 

You will have your operation and follow up treatment (if you don't need chemo, you could ask if they do or could refer you for TARGET IORT - this is lumpectomy with combined Radiotherapy in one dose at the time of operation - you may or may not fit the criteria - but well worth asking, as mentally, it is all done and finished with in one go.... apart from 5 years of hormone therapy treatment.

You won't get your head around it, and you brain and mind will be so cruel to you - I think it is a way humans react, we think the worst without wanting to and then 'it is not as bad as we had led ourselves to believe'.

If you can download some Mindfulness apps - to help relax to fall asleep, or when the overwhelming feeling of 'what the fu**' is happening comes over you (it will, many times, oww and anger and temper, so many new things will crop up). If you can listen to a Mindfulness app it will help you.  I say this as I am not one to normally listen to these, however, they are brilliant between now and the operation, they will help you so much.

Don't get jumping out of any windows - you WILL get through this, don't let 'how long will you live' take over you mind and life.  Work on living now, get this operation done and then carry on living and enjoying life!!! 

I'm sorry you got the news you have - please remember, you are on the roller coaster ride now, you will have ups and downs - but most of all remember we are all here for you, some of us have completed the ride and watching others get their tickets, some are part way thought their ride and for you like others that have just joined, you have just got your ticket - remember these rides don't seem half as bad when you get to the end. You will get there.  

Any worries or concerns, just ask away, there is always someone around that will try and help.

Deep breaths, you can do this....

With Love, xx

Good evening , 

I've just seen your reply to - you are so right staticis are just numbers, we can't go on these, we are all different, different to how we look at life, how we deal with what we have to, how soon we take action, treatments, the lot, you name it.  

To me there is only one that knows.

Feel free to drop in whenever you can't sleep, there normally always someone that pops in during the nighttime, during the summer is goes a little quieter, autumn and winter its like folks are in and out all the time.

We do have laughs and jokes - parties when the page reaches 'x' amount or if a birthday is coming up we life to share birthday wishes and pictures - it all helps the nighttime hours go a little quicker.

I hope you have dropped off to sleep now - I am off now, its now 3:11 am - I am so laughing, I had replied to 3 or 4 posts and each one I've said, I'm going to bed now.... I reckon that started some 2 hours ago arrrghhh.

Right, I am going now - Sweet Dreams and wishing you a good weekend xxxx

Hi , Welcome to the AWAKE thread. Sorry that you are feeling in such a panic, but please try and calm down. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that Breast Cancer has many many positive stories to tell these days. I’m not sure if you have started treatment yet or you have just been diagnosed, but my fist piece of advice is keep away from Dr Google! A lot of the information is out of date and some of it is even misleading! So well done for coming on this site and seeking advice!

You mention Tamoxifen and that all you find is ‘bad’ remarks/stories. However this is mainly because, when it comes to health theses sites are mainly used by those having problems with treatment, those who need support and advice! Those people who take Tamoxifen and have few or no issues don’t bother to post! Unless they are trying to offer support to someone like you! But I promise you for every 1 person that has issues with a drug there will be 100 people who carry on as if nothing has happened! So please don’t worry about this drug! Even if you start taking it and do have issues, there are different brands and then different drugs that you will be offered! Your Cancer team is there to try and make your life as normal as possible. So IF you have issues you just need to talk to them!

I hope that reassures you a little. In fact I hope you have managed to get to sleep! Lying awake and feeling alone makes all these feelings far worse! So try to think about something nice and try to relax. I know it’s not easy, but worrying about something that might not happen, will just upset you and drive you nuts. We are always here for you, so feel free to post as much as you need too! Night Hun, hope you get some sleep! Sal xxxx

Night night WhatHappened. Must admit you weren’t the only one to giggle at the last sentence Karen (toxophilite) wrote about the radiographer! I didn’t realise what you had to do to guarantee they would find a vein first time!