AWAKE.........

Hi All, I haven’t been on here for ages and ages!!! I hope you are all well and just wanted to let you all know that I miss you! I have spoken to Sal LondonLass and Karen toxophilite so I haven’t had withdrawal symptoms, but looking at the page number, I have no chance of catching up. I could do with a summary, lol. Let me know when there’s another meet up as I do love to catch up with you all, xxx.

Thanks WhatHappened...the fact is that the men are tall enough to not need it,and I never ask them for anything...but hey...

I am SO sorry about your Mama.

it is becoming a lot clearer why you worry about her.

You are so kind to her....you are a gem.

xxx

That is so awful Violetsniff, no wonder you were upset xxx

Thank you so much for your kind words Violetsniff - I believe you understand me, you 'get it' - my Mama is my Mum, my only Mum, I know mum would do anything or given anything for me or my siblings and I would do anything for my Mum.  It breaks my heart to think of her alone - yet I am the only one that feels this way, the others certainly don't show it, if they do, its very well hidden. 

I can totally relate to your hurt, it's not even the falling off from stool (although this calls for a visit straight away no questions asked), it's the fact that 'the offer to come straight away or a valid reason why not then but at another time' didn't come - thats what hurts.  

I am the kind of person that if someone is alone I think of all ways to include them, its the way I am - I would like to think others think this way..... but we both know this rarely happens, all so very sad. 

You are right 'we need nice people' - this helps the world go around.

Hello JoDec, I was only thinking of you last night, I nearly posted to ask how you are and if work and the other situation has all calmed down and sorted itself out.  How are you keeping? Hoping all is good.  Sending love and hugs xxxx

Don't know if anyone else is still awake but I feel the need to vent a little.

2018 kinda sucked. Well, most of it did. It started with my flat. First I found out I had lodgers - non-paying furry ones - and then discovered that my landlord knew all about them (I lived above his takeaway) as he'd had them for months! Called Environmental Health section of Council, who didn't give a damn - I'm renting privately, not their problem etc. Then the boiler stopped working (he was too stingy to replace the one we shared), then the electric heaters broke (again too stingy). Then it snowed heavily (twice in a month) & National Rail decided to changed the timetable, pretty much grinding Thameslink to a halt giving me the added expense of having to get a cab into work everyday. Luckily the weather started getting warmer and I started walking to work - every cloud etc. Non-paying furry lodgers even disappeared for a couple of weeks - holiday maybe? - only to return with several mates/offspring. Found lump, diagnosis about a month later - seems like cancer wanted to stay at mine too! Updated Council by phone after emailing my diagnosis letter from onco, and they said (and I quote) "oh, if you haven't started treatment you're not really sick" before hanging up on me. 2 weeks later I started chemo but lack of faith in the Council stopped me from reminding them of this. Meanwhile in the flat saga, a lightbulb blew and he wouldn't switch the lights on until I replaced them all, including 2 specialist lightbulbs which I couldn't afford. Had a somewhat major wobble at work in front of 2 of our clients, one of whom is a psychotherapist/counsellor who dragged me into her office and wouldn't let me leave until I'd unburdened my worries. She called the Council stating I was a patient of hers and within a week they visited my flat & found me the lovely place I live in now 8 days later - again every cloud etc. They also condemned my old flat & are taking my old landlord to court for violating so many health & safety regs - what goes around comes around haha. Left all my furniture in old flat as most of it was chewed and threw a lot of my clothes out as apparently lodgers decided my chest of drawers were their bathrooms! Silver-lined cloud - less clutter in my new flat. Treatment was going well and traveling was less stressful as work is a 5 min walk from home. Surgery went well too, although I got cabin fever after a few days & I was so bored of Netflix quite early on in the 5 weeks I had off work, but I did go out twice - theatre trip to see Kinky Boots with the girls from work and a nice meal with my bestie & 2 other friends. Also had a great Christmas at my best mates' house (as per) and was allowed back to work on 27th Dec, which I enjoyed despite the power cut messing up all our systems - at least I had something to do! Then came New Year's Eve and my first full shift back at work. After chatting with the handful of clients that were there about how 2019 would be a better year, my boss tells me the building we lease is being turned into flats so he's losing his business and my 2 colleagues & I are losing our jobs at the end of March. Happy flipping New Year!

Okay, venting over & I feel a little better for letting that out. Maybe I'll even get a little sleep tonight.

Hi ....Oh My Days.

I am awake too,and thought I would come into see whats what...and there was your awful year!!

oh...poor you!!So nice to see you had been out for a meal and with your bestie...

I am so glad you feel better for saying it all.

I sincerely hope you have moved.I am so sorry you had cancer.

WhatHappened...I am so glad you feel that I “get it”...It helps to know I can help if I can.I think it is only because we may be a bit similar.I could add that the stool incident was an illustration of what went on for a year,and to some may seem mild...people have much mush bigger problems!!but it was the fact that if I dared to ask for a lift up to theirs,theywould question the reason,even if goin past my flat.What made it worse was that he was giving his wife a lift anyway,and treated her like a Queen,underlining the fact that I didnt have anybody.And he would yell at me sometimes but sit holding his wifes hand like she was treasure.well she is...but...

I cant really understand it and the only reason I go on and on about it,is that it felt like almost delibeate cruely,altho I know it wasnt.

and they were all I had in the form of company for all that time.

and when I went i couldnt say or do the right thing,,and they said very hurtful things.My sister said what i could hardly belive,and that was,that they were it upset me to hear it.I cant get my head round it...but I have seen a lot of it too,fairly close to home xxxx

, so sorry to hear about your job! I know how it feels to lose your job and the sudden thoughts of 'what now'that comes along with it! But you know what? As I read through what you wrote I see something that can  hopefully help you stay positive! You went though so much Crap in 2018, BUT you same through it and EVERYTHING seemed to happen for a reason and step by step things sorted themselves out! There's no reason shy that shouldn't happen in 2019 too! So yes losing your job is the pits, however maybe just maybe your perfect job is just around the corner waiting for you! Maybe without this rather big push you wouldn't of found a new job with new colleagues! A nice fresh start where people won't know about your Cancer unless you want/need to tell them! An opportunity to make new friends, while staying in touch with old.

Right now you probably feel angry, upset or just confused which is totally understandable. However remember EVERYTHING happens for a reason and maybe just maybe, things will work out for the better. Just as things did in 2018! But whatever happens we are all here for you, whenever you need us! So please RANT away as much as you need to! We all understand.

Take Care Hun. You will get through ths, I know you will xxxx

WhatHappened and Violetsniff, sadly I think what you are saying is how it is for a lot of families. People seem very caught up in their own lives these days! They are busy and half the time have their noses stuck in their phones or busy checking their face book status!

I think you would of had mire luck getting someone to help if you had posted it on their Facebook page! It's sad but I think ALOT of people these days like/need recognition for doing a 'nice' thing! They need the praise of others for doing it. Does that make sense? I'm the type of person who does things because they make me feel nice inside, if I feel I have helped someone or made them smile I feel good too. I don't need to then broadcast to all my friends and family about what I did!

My lovely mum would invite my late Grandad around every Christmas and we visited throughout the year once, twice even 3 times a week. Not to mention all the phone calls. Then once a year, sometimes less my Aunt would pop down and see him for a few hours! This would then be followed by a long Facebook post with a photo, saying how much she loved him and what a wonderful time she had and how happy she had made him! Almost as if she needed credit for doing it! 

Too many people go along from day to day without a care in the world. Never reaching out to others, even family! But you know what, one day something will happen to them and those walls will come tumbling down. Then they will learn what it is the empathise with someone and to put yourself in someone else's shoes. I think we could all learn a lot from others! But sadly the world will always have people who live in their own little bubble and whether that's because they are nasty selfish people, or just Unobservant people who truly don't pick up on these things, they will always be here and we just have to learn to live with them and hopefully lead by example! 

Sending a ((((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))) to you both! Because I can feel the frustration and sadness in what you are saying xxxxxxxxx

LondonLass...that was so lovely to read. You’re kind and very thoughtful post...In fAct I ha d just come in here to delete mine,as it felt too selfish and I didnt want to overshare.

You are sucha nice empathetic person

The only thing I am really trying to get across in my venty way is the frustration I have when people are cruel,or dont think for a minute what it is like living in other peoples shoes-and I totally Dont Get It.

and I’m really not  a “karma -type “person....to be honest I dont look for the walls to fall down on them...Only that they might look up from their phones for a minute and see some other peoplexx

feeling a bit better now and wanting to have a little smile...so...thankyou xxx

Violetsniff, looking up from those phones for many is a huge ask! I'm sure some people are totally unaware of what is going on around them! Or would rather stand there videoing things to show others, instead of helping people in need!! It's sad but true!

i just hope that the children of today can start to fight back and realise that there's more to life than what's going on in that little hand held device! Think the government should have a National No Mobile Phone Day!! Can you imagine! 

But please don't delete what you wrote! It's how you feel and sgharing those thoughts might help others open up about how they feel! As I believe that's the other side of all this. Those of us who do need help sometimes, hide it so well and force ourselves to 'cope' that those around us don't realise we need help!! Some in some instances I suppose their may be blame on both sides! 

You take care Hun and you know we are all here to listen! We love you xxxxxx