Does anyone else dislike the Macmillan Brave the Shave campaign?

hi all

I must admit I was laughing our loud at some of these comments, "insensitive arse" for one

and wanted to just say I'm in complete agreement, they're clearly trying hard but it's harder on us and our families, especially Crystal Juju's daughter in assembly

I did send a note into Macmillan about some of their ads and they said they DO seek our opinions, I think Clearly Not

The only thing I will say is that one of my sons friends turned up on my doorstep with a newly shaved head and after a couple of seconds he said

It's me, Lucas, you don't recognise me do you.

That's the hardest thing for me and it didn't happen at first because I wore a wig most of the time, it was quite a good wig and I didn't look a lot different.

But when my hair started to grow it kept slipping so I abandoned it.

And people didn't recognise me, then they were saying stupid things to cover the awkwardness.

It is truly the freakiest thing when people you know look right through you and at that moment Lucas did at least have a glimpse of what that's like.

I haven't seen the ad but I don't expect that aspect is featured ?

Carolyn

x x x

I think I'm a bit different to other contributors to this thread. Losing my hair didn't bother me in the slightest. In fact, I rather enjoyed being bald - no bad hair days and I've had 60+ years of them. I was also surprised that I didn't and don't feel any less feminine for having no hair (well I have a bit now) and only one boob. In a perverse way I feel more feminine - sort of 'you can do all this to me but I'm still a woman'. 

Having said that, I do not like shave the head events. Mostly because everyone I've known who has done it (about 12 ppl so small sample) thought they were some kind of hero or martyr for doing so. That seems to me to mock the seriousness of a cancer diagnosis and the effect it has on those going through it. I also recognise that many if not most fellow BC travellers have more issues with their hair loss than I did.

In my view Macmillan, of all organisations, should respect their client group and if even one person finds it objectionable, it shouldn't happen. 

Best to all

Lynn

Hi Lynn.  

For me you nailed it with some kind of "hero or martyr"...thats exactly what so annoyed and upset me when my husband took part in it. I too on the whole embraced my baldness and didn't wear a wig and only put hat on for comfort at times..it was hot and sticky during summer and tolerating anything on my head was impossible with the chemo flushes & sweats.

It was just the "ooooh im so scared" aspect and it boiled my ****. Really talk to and TRULY listen to folk under going these treatments...then and only then can you understand what Brave really is.

(I may have some unresolved resentment issues....hahaha.)

Jo

All my hair fell out within ten days after the first chemo. I had long hair down to my bottom and my hair had always been my safety comfort zone. It felt good to have it hanging around me. It made me feel like me. What annoyed me was the stupid things people would say. Tales about someone they knew whose hair grew back curly, and a different colour. Those telling me I should colour it purple or pink when it grew back. WHY? And those dummies who knew of someone whose hair never grew back at all. And was I going to get a wig. Get stuffed. Time and time again you would get the stupid remarks. Which is why they got their marching orders out of my life. What annoys me about the advert people are discussing is the fact the participants are not even bald. They have had a short crew cut which is an accepted form of hair cut. I was totally bald. It made me look, and feel like an ugly little old person that had to hide herself away from life, and only feel comfortable around people at the chemo centre where no one took any notice of me because they all knew how it felt. Now the hair is starting to grow slowly back, and I can see the ugly little old person starting to disappear. But what won't disappear is the hurt people inflicted on me with their thoughtless hair jokes at a time when I was at my most vulnerable. 

Oh bless you - must have been even harder with hair like yours.

So glad it is finally growing back.

I totally agree - on the adverts the shaving leaves a head of hair I would love right now. I went completely bald within 10 days of my first chemo too (just in time for Christmas). And I'm also guessing they won't be totally bald still in 6 months time......

I'm doing a great impression of Voldemort at the moment - and from the looks I get sometimes you would think I am! I find older people the worst who think it is totally acceptable to stare in a quite offensive way as if I have committed an act of gross indecency. 

What is it with people suggesting you dye it pink or purple?!!

Take care and big hugs

I agree with you all ! My thoughts were , fine if you want to shave your head , but keep it shaved for 8 months and don't forget to shave your eyebrows off and pluck out your eyelashes too !! 

Power to us all !!

xxx

I didn't have chemo, so no hair loss for me, but I can see what everyone is saying on here. People I know who lost their hair through chemo just HATED it - seeing others doing some sort of "look at me, aren't I wonderful going around with a shaven head to raise money for charity" just made everything SO much worse.

To those who do not have cancer, but wish to help, a message - raise money by all means, but do it by other methods - attract attention to the cause, not to yourselves, and respect the views of those on here for whom seeing a lot of shaven heads is a very unwelcome reminder of what they had to go through.

FrancesW, I think you have worded that perfectly. How ever well meaning these people are I think they do need to concentrate more on bringing attention to the cause! 

I am 3 years on from diagnosis but still feel uncomfortable seeing the Macmillan ads for this. It's a reminder I just don't need. I thought I was just being over sensitive, as I was recently diagnosed with secondaries in the bone, so already feeling emotional. But it's great to see that I am not alone in feeling that this way of fundraising just doesn't feel right.

Sending best wishes to all ladies going through this xx

As I see nobody has said they like the campaign, hopefully they will reassess their whole ideology of scaring people into donating and or making light of the side effects by shaving heads with so many of us being affected that's about 50% of the donating public they are potentially alienating. they should be educating people on living with side effects so idiots in shops don't humiliate and laugh at us not turning hair loss into a party show piece.

FrancesW - this sums it up perfectly - I love your second paragraph particularly and hope the fundraising arm of Macmillan see this.