Does anyone else dislike the Macmillan Brave the Shave campaign?

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Good evening everyone

I have seen two Macmillan TV adverts this evening, as well as lots of adverts on their Facebook site - and this website - for Brave the Shave,

This is encouraging people to raise money for people affected by cancer by shaving their head - it has fostered a climate where people think it is showing support to people who have lost their hair by doing this too.

Even my own daughters offered to shave their heads when they knew I was to have chemo and lose my hair - talk about brainwashing!

I can't think of anything that would have made me more upset than to see them lose their hair too.

I have pretty much powered my way through 8 cycles of DC and had every side effect it could throw at me, one stay of a week in hospital, and four times they called me in because of various things, two bad reactions in the chair - but the one thing that reduced me to tears wasn't being told I had cancer, it was being told I would lose all my hair in the second week of the first cycle.

And I don't need to tell any of you how hateful I found having huge handfuls come out in the shower (and I had short hair so hadn't thought it would be so horrid).

And then your eyebrows and eyelashes go - and your femininity feels like it's being stripped away bit by bit.

Frankly I find people who say they will get their head shaved as support, and that say they do it to "share" our experience haven't a clue! They might choose this, we haven't chosen it - and wouldn't.

It may sound over the top to some of you, but I find this whole campaign offensive, insensitive and patronising - particularly seeing people smile while having their head shaved, and people cheering. I didn't smile, and my daughter and husband didn't feel like cheering when they shaved my head.

Ok I'm cool with my look now - the very shiny head (not a short razor clipped look) - but I would prefer not to have had to experience any of this.

If you agree - please let me know.

I have messaged Macmillan previously and never even had a response. I've commented on Facebook under their posts in the past urging people to find fun ways to raise money (and there are so many) and not to do this for me.........and there is always a huge response in terms of "likes" and comments from people in our reluctant community.

If people are with me - maybe we can convince Macmillan to stop this barbaric approach to fund raising. Either like this post or put a comment of support please - if you don't agree, that's fine, no need to do anything!

Well - that's my rant over - you might have noticed I feel a tad passionate about this!

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Clump

    Seeing a shaved head still reduces me to tears a8 months after chemo.

    I don't think it helps anyone understand loosing hair from treatment as its something they have thought about and been around collecting money for so everyone who matters knows it a charity thing and it was their choice not an outward sign of what else is happening in chemo.

    To me its belittling and making a fun social occasion of what is one of  the most mentally painful part of treatment, having had someone say I know what it s like to loose your hair I had mine shaved for charity would be a slap in the face to me. Wore than the it will grow, its only temporary or its saving your life comments.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi everyone,

    It has been a while since I have been on here, but like a lot of you I feel so profoundly fed up with Macmillan aparantly not giving a toss about how thier advertising affects those of us and our famillies that are dealing with cancer everyday. Why don't they recognise  the emotional stress that pervades our homes.

    I could be quite happily playing with my granddaughter and then one of those insensative or depressing or just plain distressing ads pops up.

    Why don't they consult us .....before first broadcasting these things?.

    OH it makes me so damn mad!

    Hugs to all

  • hello Judy

    I agree with everything you said on this subject.

    Before I got cancer I remember Jessie J shaving her head for charity and everyone saying how brave she was and I didn't think it was brave. It's good that she raised money perhaps but certainly no awareness.

    Now I have had cancer and have been bald as a result of chemo I would take no comfort at all in others doing this either to fundraise or in some misguided attempt at empathy.

    How you react to losing your hair is personal. I knew it was a temporary thing and viewed it that way but the idea that others would shave their heads and therefore feel they have insight to the experience of having cancer is just the dumbest most insensitive idea ever. 

    I am glad to know others feel this way as I thought it was just me! 

    Fiona

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Jammyfiona

    Hi everyone,

    I just wanted to pop in and say that this is a very interesting topic and thank you for sharing.

    I have forwarded this to our fundraising team to have a look and I will get back to you with their reply. I think it's really important that they see this and take on all your feedback.

    All the best,

    Jess

    Macmillan Community Team

  • Hi Jess

    Thank you for your response - I was going to make contact and share the heartfelt responses that I have had to my discussion. I think you will agree that emotions are clearly running high on this one and it is really good that you are taking this forward to your fundraising team.

    I must admit this campaign seems very at odds with the care, compassion, sensitivity and support from Macmillan nurses and the rest of the support information etc. on the website.

    I'm sure we will all be interested in the response to this - bearing in mind we are only the people on the breast cancer community site - I'm sure our feelings will not be in isolation of other types of cancer experiencing chemo.

    Judy xx

    "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it" Roald Dahl

  • It's just people wanting to do something to show their support without thinking how it may be perceived by the person having no choice in losing their body hair.  Why on earth would a healthy individual think it's helping by shaving their hair. 

    If they want to be seen to be supporting cancer fund raising then then do something practical.  Offer to be driver to not only your family/friends who need transport to treatment but to people living alone in your Town/City who have no one to help them get to appointments.  Plant a garden at the unit so people undergoing Chemo can sit outside in sunshine while having their chemo treatment.  Donate the money you were going to spend  on a pint. 

  • Totally agree Grogg - and love the idea of practical and useful things to raise money.

    Judy xx

    "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it" Roald Dahl

  • Hello Fiona (jammyfiona)

    I'm glad it's not just me either! Looks like a lot of people feel this way.

    It will be interesting to see what the response from the fundraisers is.


    Judy xx

    "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it" Roald Dahl

  • Hi Wendy - Bubbleblower

    I know what you mean.

    Hopefully this thread may show the fundraisers and awareness raisers that they have a ready made community happy to help if they want to use us for consultation!

    Judy xx

    "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it" Roald Dahl

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Judyr58

    Hi ladies

    Just jumping in to say how much I agree with you all, and the articulacy with which you have expressed yourselves. At my first chemo session the cold cap was offered very reluctantly and was inadequate (to say the least) so I'm on tenterhooks now (day 16) waiting to see how much hair will drop out. (So far not too much, although it seems to have accelerated a bit yesterday and today - perhaps because I'm being more active in week 3!) I was so upset after the first session that my girlfriend offered to shave her hair - talk about not getting it! It made me feel that on top of the fear and trauma of losing my hair, I had no one to talk to who could begin to understand.

    On a VERY POSITIVE note, I also got in touch with Paxman (I actually left a sobbing voicemail when I got home from the first session, before sending a calmer but still plaintive e-mail) who acted very promptly and have arranged a trial of one of their systems at the cancer centre (in France) where I'm being treated, and I'm going in to act as an interpreter for the training day tomorrow. So a really big thanks to them, and best wishes to you all.

    Love Lizz xxx