advice / support

Hi Everyone. 

I guess I'm here looking for some advice and support from the ones who understand what I'm currently going through (when I say what I'm going through, I don't mean as a cancer sufferer myself but as a daughter watching their parent going through the unimaginable. 

7 years ago my mum who was 59 at the time, fit, healthy, never been a smoker or drinker was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. Non - small cell, lung adenocarcinoma.  She underwent intensive chemotherapy and radiotherapy. She was unable to have surgery due to the cancer spreading to the gland close to the heart. Surgery was too risky for her. After the treatment she had scan every 6-12 weeks going forward. The cancer didn't shrink or disappear which is what we hoped but it was contained and stayed contained every scan for a number of years (so we thought). During the summer months of 2021, her scans we less frequent or constantly getting cancelled due to the Covid pandemic, we started noticing a change with my mum, she was becoming irritable very easy, her whole behaviour started to change, she started to have weakness in her arms and legs and it even got to the point she was dragging her legs when walking. We were back and for the GP (actually most of the appointments where over the phone where my mum could not be properly assessed. GP didn't seem concerned, until September 2021 I had to be quite blunt with them and they actually saw her face to face. The symptoms my mum was showing had the GP's querying a stroke. My mum was referred to a stroke consultant (not immediately, it took about 3/4 weeks) She was then seen by a stroke specialist who by talking to her and assessing her, didn't believe she was having a stroke and referred her for a brain scan, 1 week later she had a scan of the brain. 2 weeks later her GP (not her cancer specialist, this is a a woman who is still a cancer patient) rang her to tell her over the phone that her  brain scan revealed she had brain metastasise. Anyways, fast forward to a month later she underwent brain surgery to remove a large tumour on her frontal lobe, after the operation in November, she was told if the tumour wasn't removed she would have died within a week. There was another tumour growing that they were unable to remove as it was too dangerous. She had intensive SRT (Radiotherapy Following this she was having regular scans of brain and lung, every 3 months the max. During these scans her tumours had stayed the same size, they hadn't grown. She was also put on a medication called Brigatinib.  My mum, such a positive person, a woman that doesn't have a list of things she wants to do in life, she just wants to see her family happy and go to work. She never give up work, she had a small amount of time off for chemo/radium but was straight back soon as she could. Refused to take help off anyone, always wants to do everything herself. Then about 5 months ago she had a brain scan which revealed the tumour had started to grow, they asked if she was displaying any symptoms but she said no, she was feeling great. So they agreed to monitor her, next scan revealed the same, tumour had grown again but the same thing happened she told the consultant she was feeling great, no major side effects of the brigatinib so again they agreed to monitor. Same happened in the next scan until 2 months ago she started to become dizzy all the time and her eyes were constantly blurry, they decided the tumour was growing too much and that she would benefit from some more SRT radium. The tumour is growing right next to or on her brain stem, I couldn't really make sense of that appointment, I felt like my whole world was crashes around me hearing this, we couldn't take everything in. Anyways, 4 weeks ago my mum received strong doses of SRT radium. Since the treatment my mum has been really struggling, her dizziness/light headedness is getting worse everyday, her eye sight is getting worse, as in everything is blurry. The consultant has said its normal and that it will settle but everyday she wakes up she's worse. She's gone from this active woman to now not even getting dressed or leaving the house. She can't do a lot herself, it's even resulted in me having to bath her because she's too dizzy/light headed to do it, and she's constantly got this feeling she's going to pass out. Her steroids have been increased but she feels like they are not helping. I guess I wanted to know if this is normal? should she be getting worse every day? It's so difficult watching this woman who was so fit, happy and healthy (regardless to having cancer) she was so well you wouldn't even think she was ill, but now it's so different. She says she has this constant feeling of dread. She says she can't live this way anymore. Is there anything I can do that  I'm not doing? I have my family, my children and my husband but she's my life, I want to make everything ok. I can't lose her. But I also can't bear to see her suffer. My dad is great with her, does all that he can,  my siblings do what they can I suppose. I do everything as well as work full time. Some days I feel like I'm drowning but know that I have to be there for her.  I'm sorry this post is so long, It's the first time I've talked about this properly. Is there anyone who can relate? has advise? Knows if the way she is feeling will get better? 

Thank you. I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this.