How to deal with this

  • 3 replies
  • 5 subscribers
  • 1061 views

Hi,

my auntie is like a second mum to me and has secondary brain cancer which they are saying is a tumour so I’m not sure if it’s classed as secondary cancer or a tumour. 

Friday she was told she has a few weeks to live to a few months best case scenario. 

im a 24 year old girl who has never really gone through something like this and I just wondered how I deal with her? Do I be happy around her or will she think I don’t care about her leaving this world?

  • Hi Ellexx,

    I am really sorry for your aunty's diagnosis and how long she has been given.  You are so young and it must be very hard for you.

    Having recently thought it might be the end for me (cancer makes most of us think that) I can only tell you how I would have liked my loved ones to be around me.

    I would have wanted them to be real and just express what they are feeling  If you put on a happy face your aunt will know you are pretending and then it also will probably make her put on a happy face too.  If I was your aunt what would comfort me would be to know that you will be ok in your life so while I think you should allow your sorrow that she will pass to show that it is also good to talk about your future and reassure her that you will be fine and that there are are will be good times in your life.  What makes me happy is knowing my children are and will have lovely lives and that they will be safe and happy.

    You might get better advice if you visit the thread on bereaved friends and family.  I saw no one had responded to you yet and given how young you are I wanted to reach out to you.

    The link should be here https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/bereaved-family-and-friends-forum

    It's really hard loosing a loved one, let yourself grieve and cry and shout, don't hold it in and seek help on here or from your GP if you feel you need it or if you feel you are not coping.

    Sending you a Big virtual Hug x

  • Ah I’m so sorry that you have felt like you were close to the end too. Thank you so much for your response. As I’m new on here I wasn’t too sure which group to join. I will take everything you have said on board definitely and it is a massive help having an opinion from you (someone who is/was going through cancer) as you know firsthand what you would like. Thank you so much and I hope your friends and family give you happiness and comfort through this awful time. Sending a massive hug to you! Xx

  • Thank you Ellexx, I'm glad I was able to help.  Feel free to drop me a message if you ever need to.

    xx