My Dad 66yr old with bowel cancer stage 4 with liver mets

Jules and Magda what sad news. Life is so hard to comprehend when this happens to good people. Keeping strong is not easy. I hope you are getting support from the medics and that Macmillan are there for you.

Many of us have the dreaded scans coming up and I wish everyone the best of luck with them. It's a knife edge existence.

Love to all

Judy

Dear Jules,

I was so sorry to read about your Dad, how are things just now and how are you and your poor Mum doing.? I hav'nt been on for a while because I have been worrying not only about Nev's scan but also my Mum.  Fortunately the scan still shows everything is ok and Nev has been referred to the liver unit, but I am now also in the same boat as you, my Mum has been told she has leukaemia.  We don't know what type or what stage yet, another 6 weeks of waiting and as she is 83 what will they do for her?

Magda,

Again, I was really sorry to read of Gregory's condition.  How is he now and how are you coping?

 Patrick, have you heard from the liver surgeons?

How is everyone else doing, be good to hear from you all

Love Ann xx

Ann,

Happy New Year

I reckon their own livers haven't yet recovered from Christmas - thus the silence from them.

I expect to learn next week of the date for a meeting with them. Meantime I'm carrying on with the chemo even though the Oxaliplatin is really painful. I've got 2 x 3-day sessions (Oxaliplatin + 5FU + Cetuximab)  left and plus 6 x 1-day (Cetuximab) sessions left. That'll take me to the end of February. It'll be a relief not to have to go in for 3 days at a time. The side effects are getting a little worse each time - I can only hope that I can cope with them as I near the end of the chemo.

Not sure if I have another CT scan before the liver op. - expect so.

Patrick

Patrick,

Happy New Year to you,

I know it is hard going but hopefully worth it.  Nev's Oncologist was amazed at his blood results, one of his cancer markers was 27,000 in June today it was 1!  Long may it continue.  Is your liver op. definitely  on?

Ann

Ann,

I won't know whether the op' is on or not until I've met with the surgeon. However my Consultant Oncologist believes there is a good chance. At this stage I'm just hoping and waiting.

I'm pleased to hear about Nev's cancer marker test results. Sounds amazing. Could you give me more info' about those tests as I don't hear anything from my Oncologistabout cancer markers or any other method of measurement. Perhaps I'm not asking the right questions. What should I be asking for?

Patrick

Hi Patrick,

The two tumour  markers we were told about are CA199 and CEA.  In June Nev's CA199 was 27,000 and is now 1, his CEA was 501 and is now 7.  Hope that helps.

Ann

Ann,

Thank you for that info' - most helpful.

Patrick

Hi all, I just want to say how much all of your words has touched me... from across the other side of the world it means so much to me XOX...

Jash, thank you for your support.  I am sorry that Alex is having stomach problems, I hope they can sort it out soon for him.  I can imagine running after two 14ys boys would keep you busy, and certainly with everything else going on in your life would make you want to run for the hills!  You are only human, don't forget to take time for yourself if you can.

Oh Magda, I am so sorry that Gregory is not improving.  He is such a lucky man to have you by his side.  Mum told me that her and Dad are holding hands a lot lately, I think touch is so special, and some people unfortunetly don't have anyone to hold their hand through this.  XOX

Court thank you so much for your tears... God knows I have shead enough.  I hope your mum is doing OK and the renovations are still coming along well.

Judy and Kate - thank you like I say, I seriously couldn't get through any of this without your kind words.

Ann, Thank you for your love also.  I must admitt I was concerned not seeing you on here for a while.  I am so sorry that you are going through this with your Mum also,  Life truely is so unfair sometimes.  You asked about Mum, well as this was so unexpected at this time, we all feel so shell shocked.  She is OK, but well you know very weepy.  For us the two scan results we got were good, but then within the month it all turned to custard... I find that so hard to deal with.         

 I still struggle with the fact that you in the UK have access to drugs that we don't here, and has specialised liver surgeons, that maybe, just maybe things would be different elsewhere.  Oh I know that I shouldn't dwell on it, but it still gets at me.   Well in the meantime Dad is still feeling good.  My family and I are off to their fishing hut this weekend for three nights and tend to have a ball.  Though I must say, not sure how to cope with it all.  Dad wants to talk to my husband about how the boat works and has about 10yrs of oil there for us so when we go on our annual holiday with Mum there we have to think about it - GOD I love My DAD!  We told our kids the other day that Poppy wasn't going to get better, hardest thing I've had to do in my life.  Eldest girl, 9yrs - quiet, girl 7yrs wept, youngest wee fella almost 5ys screamed and screamed that he didn't want to loose his Poppy, breaks my heart.  Well that's enough from me, sorry to go on, but I really do feel so much better letting it all out on this site!  In the mean time, Dad is feeling well, so we are going with that.

Jules XOX

Hi all, I just want to say how much all of your words has touched me... from across the other side of the world it means so much to me XOX...

Jash, thank you for your support.  I am sorry that Alex is having stomach problems, I hope they can sort it out soon for him.  I can imagine running after two 14ys boys would keep you busy, and certainly with everything else going on in your life would make you want to run for the hills!  You are only human, don't forget to take time for yourself if you can.

Oh Magda, I am so sorry that Gregory is not improving.  He is such a lucky man to have you by his side.  Mum told me that her and Dad are holding hands a lot lately, I think touch is so special, and some people unfortunetly don't have anyone to hold their hand through this.  XOX

Court thank you so much for your tears... God knows I have shead enough.  I hope your mum is doing OK and the renovations are still coming along well.

Judy and Kate - thank you like I say, I seriously couldn't get through any of this without your kind words.

Ann, Thank you for your love also.  I must admitt I was concerned not seeing you on here for a while.  I am so sorry that you are going through this with your Mum also,  Life truely is so unfair sometimes.  You asked about Mum, well as this was so unexpected at this time, we all feel so shell shocked.  She is OK, but well you know very weepy.  For us the two scan results we got were good, but then within the month it all turned to custard... I find that so hard to deal with.         

 I still struggle with the fact that you in the UK have access to drugs that we don't here, and has specialised liver surgeons, that maybe, just maybe things would be different elsewhere.  Oh I know that I shouldn't dwell on it, but it still gets at me.   Well in the meantime Dad is still feeling good.  My family and I are off to their fishing hut this weekend for three nights and tend to have a ball.  Though I must say, not sure how to cope with it all.  Dad wants to talk to my husband about how the boat works and has about 10yrs of oil there for us so when we go on our annual holiday with Mum there we have to think about it - GOD I love My DAD!  We told our kids the other day that Poppy wasn't going to get better, hardest thing I've had to do in my life.  Eldest girl, 9yrs - quiet, girl 7yrs wept, youngest wee fella almost 5ys screamed and screamed that he didn't want to loose his Poppy, breaks my heart.  Well that's enough from me, sorry to go on, but I really do feel so much better letting it all out on this site!  In the mean time, Dad is feeling well, so we are going with that.

Jules XOX

Hi Jules,

Within a few days I will be the age of your Dad. I have secondary liver mets from my colon cancer. 7 out of 22 of the lymph nodes removed with my ascending colon were cancerous. So I really do feel for you and your family as I know what you're going through. The mortaility of your loved ones is hard to come to terms with. Indeed I find it hard to come to terms with my own mortality.

The death of one's parents is inevitable. It is part of life and cannot be avoided. The only question is timing. The older one gets the more one accepts that that is the way it works.

The most important thing is to make the best of the time you have with your Dad. Talk to him about everything - and I mean everything. Leave nothing for later as you just won't have time if you leave it until you can see that he is truly dying. A fellow patient died in hospital - about 20ft away from me. He was coherent when he entered the ward but within 30 hours he had died. So don't imagine you will have time at a later date.

Don't worry about your children. They all have an amazing ability to recover and accept what life delivers - just talk to them and explain what's happening and that they need to enjoy your Dad's presence for as long as possible.

It is you that needs to look after your own emotional well being. If you can get it take some professional counselling. I get it FOC on the NHS - and it has helped me - and I'm the one with the cancer!

Hold on tight and try hard to accept that life is uncertain. I know that's hard but none of us knows how long we've got here on the 3rd rock from the sun.

Patrick