Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat

Think I have managed ? 

You have managed xx

Ha ha quite an achievement for me .

Think the antibiotics might be starting to work the swelling has gone down a little

we have hospital tomorrow for line flush 

hope les’s bloods ok and his able to have his chemo x

I Can’t stop thinking about jkee I feel so so sorry for her . X 

Pleased his antibiotics are working and bill to can carry on with chemo. Not looking forward to it but he will take his anti sickness tablets this time otherwise this a waste of time xx

Hi  PattyK 

I am doing ok . I sympathise with Jkee . Some aspects of mums passing has been hard to get over . 
It’s ten months now since she passed . I can’t believe it’s two years since Jay passed . Just seems like yesterday when we were all giving updates . 
Mum ‘s house is sold now . I found that challenging in parts too . Been looking after it for so long the wee boy across the road was concerned what was going to happen to me . He thought I lived the ! He was really surprised to hear I had a home of my own ..

Other than that life keeps changing and I keep adapting to it all . Been for a lovely few days holiday and really felt the benefit of it .

The weather is a bit rubbish though . 
Hope life is treating you well .

Court 

Court so sad to hear of your mums passing the hardest thing is seeing all her belongings. We did that with Les mum just before he was diagnosed and he felt it hard to give anything away to the hospice but we did but a lot of it is in our loft and she had a lot of paperweights and Coalport figurines.  I did put my foot down to over a 100 plates on the wall. It just seems so personal and final. The weather here is rubbish too. Les then retired early and 2 months later bang along came the diagnosis hence I came on here. Pleased you are getting away.  Sending hugs xxx

 Distraught 

I have never settled an estate before so that was a learning curve and I did find the whole dismantling the house aspect really difficult. I managed to only make a few trips to the dump and everything else has been kept or rehomed . The guy doing the photos thought I had staged mums house but she actually had lovely taste , very creative with what she had and liked a more minimalist but cosy look so it all was still sellable. We asked for donations to the hospice . Might have made a mistake with that one . Think they would have got more if we donated the furniture for them to sell !  Who knows but people can take advantage of a donation .

I found it funny the things you want to hold onto . I struggle with the dinner service but decided to keep half , donate half for now .

But I am so glad it’s over . I think it was mentally harsh .  That is so sad that Les went straight into treatment after that experience. It’s a time when you need to breath not face that !

I have not been on as much , can’t believe it after 15 years . But how is he finding this chemo . Seemingly for the people it works for they can get good stability with it if they can tolerate it and some do seem to do well with it .

I have the GP today . He was wonderful to mum but is retiring soon . He wants to go before he is straight into a difficult diagnosis and I get that .

You are doing so well coping with everything . It’s only looking back or hearing others just starting that you feel the full impact of supporting a situation you can’t alter .

Take care x 

Yes I'm good court. My son William got married in February this year (Valentines weekend) it was a lovely day but just so sad that his dad wasn't there. They held the wedding in The Redhurst Hotel I was in there with Jay years ago and it has all been done up since and is beautiful. My daughter in law Nicole lost her mum just last year too to stomach cancer so they both didn't have a parent present for their special day. I am to become a grandmother again at the end of this year. The new baby is due in November they have given a date for the 10th so an early birthday present for me as my birthday is the 21st and Nicole's is the 4th so a slightly later present for her. My little granddaughter starts school in August this year too she's 4 years old already- how did that happen!? Jay wanted to see her go to school but unfortunately just didn't happen. He'll be somewhere watching from afar though. Yes two years on the 23rd Jay will be gone and as you say it still feels like yesterday. Your mum was an inspiration to everyone here the amount of time she lasted since her diagnosis. Wishing you well. Take Care. 

Vicky x

Hi Vicky and court.

it is daunting but unfortunately his mum was 92 and after her husband died just did not bother. She got a bit of dementia in the end. We asked her to come and stay with us but les sister put a stop to that due to using her mums card every day. Les never says anything about anybody but dislikes his sister and the way she treated his mum. We were an hour away and during lockdown his sister spent about £600 a month on food. She ate like a bird. She got her diagnosed with dementia and never told les. That is another huge story. Since the bungalow was sold she has not been in touch only a photo of her new grandchild 8 weeks later and we didn’t know she was pregnant. All that and more and now les. Just hoping he can tolerate the new chemo. 

Vicky I get you can’t wait for your new grandchild. Two years has gone so quick. I agree that courts mum was an inspiration to all. 

thinking of you all xxxx

Hi Maggie!

Jkee messaged me last night. Poor lass is just a mess she just doesn't know what to do or where to be just now which is quite understandable. She was saying she may have been too hasty in saying she won't come back to the forum but she just needs to take her time and it is totally her decision if she wants to come back or not maybe at a later date but just not yet. Maggie I didn't know that Les got his diagnosis just after he retired. That is the exact thing that happened to Jay. He was only retired 18 months when his symptoms started to surface and at that time it was the height of covid I remember. That is something that really made me mad. He worked 50 odd years with hardly a sick day off or going to the doctors retires and got that and just never got to enjoy his retirement. Take Care

Vicky xx