Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat

Sending love PattyK 

Thinking of you today in my thoughts xxxx

Thanks Everyone. 

Today went as well as can be expected. Everyone who was there said I did him proud. The way the celebrant delivered his sermon was first class and it was good to hear people laugh at the memories and some things said about Jay's past. Just unfortunate that William felt he couldn't get up to say his eulogy he had written for his dad. Idid get up though back at the wake we had for him at a nearby hotel and just made a toast to Jay and a few said I did well doing that. He came to sit down and said that he was sorry that he couldn't do it. He said it hit him while carrying his dad in as one of the coffin bearers so the celebrant just read it out for him. and being English he done really well to grapple with some of the Scots lingo. So all in all it couldn't have gone any better maybe he was around somewhere making sure everything ran smoothly. So just a wee chilled weekend for me before my `new life` without Jay begins on Monday Take Care Everyone.

Vicky xx

Well done Vicky must have been really difficult but sound beautiful.So sorry for your son I know it has hit my children really hard but you made it though. Lots of hugs going forward.

Hi Vicky. Try and relax over the weekend. You have achieved so much in the last couple of weeks. You should be very proud of yourself and very brave. One day at a time as the saying goes.  I echo what Jkee says about your son.  Huge hug to you xx

Hi Vicky. Glad that all went well yesterday, it was nice that the celebrant was able to say Williams words for him. Just take time over the weekend to just rest and relax now all the immediate organising is over. Take care and stay strong. Xxx

Barry cried for the first time yesterday, it was so hard knowing I couldn’t say ‘don’t worry it will all be ok’. Sometimes it is just so hard to find the words when I just want to cry myself. X

HI Pauline it is sad when they cry because it makes it all seem real Simon has not cried but I am not sure when on his own he had the news broken to him on his own in hospital he had cancer and it had spread I asked did you cry when they left the room he says no he is not afraid but I have cried enough he is not the Simon I married looks sad and lost so difficult isn't it xx

So so sad. Les has never cried and refuses to give in. After 4 days of steroids then stops he is not too bad but then he crashes and burns and looks drained. He just says I am not a victim. I do admire him for this.

I just feel sad when he looks poorly and as you all know can’t do the things he used to and of course the weight loss. 

sending everyone huge hugs Maggie xx

Oh Pauline!

I get the bit when they cried. Jay did this several times and it was so distressing to see sometimes and as you say you just can't turn round and say `everything will be ok`. One day when he was lying in bed (which is where he spent most of his time in his final days) I lay beside him and said to him `are you ready to go yet`? and he said `not yet and not if I can help it` but of course sepsis happened again and that along with the progressing cancer decided he wasn't getting out of this one and had other ideas for him and he ended up back in hospital and didn't come home this time. I feel for you all still going through this and sending big hugs to all of you. Take Care. 

Vicky x