Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat

Jkee Les calls him his therapy dog and has a reason to get up and walk him. Les does take his phone with him as well. I think the same as you but when we got him after the ops etc we thought it would be preventative chemo and he was really well. It is 6 am and sat in the dark as don’t want to wake Rufus up. The things we do xx

Good morning all.  Well I have tears in my eyes but still can’t cry.  I am in such a state with no one to talk to. Les has been really curt with me in anything I say. I feel completely useless and helpless and he is blaming me for the way I am when I have put up for years with others coming first. I felt dreadful yesterday and asked him to put Rufus away for me while I went to bed, The first time in 4 months, he took umbrage and this morning hardly spoke.  My tummy is doing summersaults, my lips keep going numb, headache etc etc. I really wish I had someone near I could just go and have a chat. I have sort of become a recluse and now get really bad anxiety if I have to go out. Just needed to get this off my chest.

jkee I hope you being strong and how is Simon doing. Love and strength to everyone xxxx

Maggie  we are here for you first of all everything  that you are going through ditto we have had a rough week Simon had to go to hospital  Friday he had targeted  therapy  Wednesday  Thursday Frida you couldn't  see his skin it was red raw plus painful  piles very snappy with me he wanted  to give up blamed me for this chemotherapy  saying he didn't  want it at that I don't  understand  . Of urse  we can't  understand  I just want the love if my life to be here but I understand  where he is coming from absolutely  had enough so unfair . Maggie  get in touch with your local hospice ours ve been there  for me counciling  and a day of spa treatments vonce a week just gives me a break and once a month coffee morning  for carers.  I have only made one treatment  spa like you a recluse t it was relaxing  even though I cried telling  her everything  it was exhausting  but lovely  they let me just of load . We don't  have a easy answer my stomach  is in pain daily on high alert watcng  but can't  have people  here soo unfair luckily  our relationship  is strong and so is yours cancer is evil it effects  all the family love to you  

Hi jkee I knew you were going through the same as are others on here.  Les can’t have targeted therapy or immunotherapy.  Will find out on Wednesday the best way forward which like you I am dreading. I don’t think Les would be happy if I said I was going to get in touch with the local hospice (bearing in mind I did agency work at ours). He would think it would giving in.  I can’t stand the tummy aches etc. yes our relationship is strong but by heck I could sometimes walk out after he has had a go at me, but obvious I don’t, like you I hold it in.  Just reading your post makes me so sad as we are living the same lives. I really wish I had someone near and to talk to.  

just love the photo of him.  Rufus is asleep at the moment so getting quiet time xx

as you can see he has chewed his towel.  I will buy a new one for him. 

Maggie  if you want to keep in touch private for a chat not sure if we can but yes we are are the same path Simons  face is bleeding  looks awful have a feeling treatment  will be delayed  and yes Simon didn't  want to be involved  in hospice but they  remind me they are here for the living not just the dieing.  Do you have a Maggie  center  near they are brilliant  for partners  to vent ours is in the hospital but a hour away x

• Aww he is soo cute  

Jkee no we don’t have a maggies place near, just the butterwick hospice.  Which is next to the hospital and only about 15 mins away.  I don’t think we can do it privately. I am sure if I could cry I would feel better, instead I get angry and iron or something whatever it is.  My friend in Australia since I have known since 1st year senior said she would fly over but I said no as she has family herself in Australia.  I can’t believe his face is bleeding.  Les has come out in cold sores and mouth ulcers.  They are so strong and I have to remember that.  Gosh jkee I wish we all lived near xxxx

• Bless you I don't  have anyone  to talk to either  but the dog  he's  sits and listened.  It is brutal  for them Simon has said is it worth it if I'm  in pain and suffering  think like Vicky was I'm  still in denial  nothing  is going to happen  to him x