My dad's just been diagnosed

Hello, my dad has also recently been diagnosed. He has had surgery to remove a tumour and now has a stoma. He’s just finished his first session of chemotherapy, 7 more to go. 

im sorry I cannot give you much advice on what to do as I too feel incredibly lost about how to help, but your support and love I’m sure is more help than you think. 
it’s a tough journey and one I don’t feel my family, my dad or myself are prepared for. I often feel my dad seems to have given up, but I try and remind him how strong he is, it’s a temporary blip (I’m hoping, we’re hoping, as he has stage 3), he’ll get through it. 

it’s not going to be easy, but having a positive an attitude towards the situation will always help. Find the sunshine in everyday, no matter how dark it gets

sending your dad, your family and you lots of love at this time, know you are never alone x

Hi.

Thanks for that reply.

My dad is stage 4 bowel/colon and had spread to his liver and seems like he's already giving up. It's so so hard!

He had to deal with the news all alone in the hospital on Wednesday as with covid we weren't allowed to visit. He told us all about it yesterday when I got him home. He's in so much pain with it all.

He said he had to deal with it all alone and had been upset. I've never seen my dad upset before. I just don't know what I should be doing to help, I don't know what to do to help at all.

I can't stop thinking about his pain, my mum's pain and the way he's wasting away in front of us and is giving up...

Hi Nathanyel,

Any diagnosis of cancer is a massive shock and it takes time to come to terms with it, i found a good way was to talk about it with friends and family and i told all my work colleagues so as to get it out in the open, i found it helpful to do this but it may be an individuals decision.

 Its a very hard subject to deal with but like i say to my wife there are lots of others in a much worse situation than you, some of those are young children and parents that cling to whatever they can to get through.

All you can do is be there for him and try to talk about the treatment and future you have together, i'm sure it will help if you get talking,

Wishing you all the best.

TG

Hi,

Sorry to hear about your dad, its a huge shock. To give you hope my mum was diagnosed in Oct 2018 with the same stage 4 bowel cancer which had spread to her liver. After chemotherapy she finally had a liver resection in May this year. It's felt like a long journey with ups and downs but my mums positive attitude has been amazing. There is so much that can be done, never give up. Sending love x

• Hi sorry to hear this.  When my Dad was first digonoised friends told me to help out as much as I could.  This turned out to be the wrong thing and didn't help.  My advice would be just to be normal, if your Dad wants to talk about it, let him and listen, don't feel you have to know all the answers, listen more than talk, offer to help with shopping ect but don't take over and do everything ( like I did )  always ask first and make he knows you are happy to help if he asks for it. 
• Best wishes
• Rachel xx