Hi Eviels,Welcome to our friendly group.I hope you will find it helpful and supportive.Feel free to ask any questions if needed as there is usually someone with the experience to answer.We are all here to help you and your husband.Best wishes Jane
Thankyou just sometimes I don't really know what to do I hate seeing my husband like this and am constantly asking him if he is OK which he is getting really fed up with me
It’s very hard for loved ones it’s understandable that you feel as you do.Has your husband started treatment ? I found it helpful to take my sister into appointments with me as it was good to have an extra pair of ears.Its so overwhelming at the start of a cancer diagnosis it can take time to adjust.People tend to feel much better once they have a treatment plan and can focus on that. Jane x
Hi Eviels, I know how you feel - I always used to ask my husband if he was OK (l'm the one with bladder cancer but find over the years that we tend to alternate illness, unless we're overlapping). And nearly drove him mad. After all if he weren't ill he'd be fine!
I'm sure your husband knows you're worried for him and he's probably worried for you. It's good if you can find other ways of showing you care, eg my husband used to feed me broccoli soup - helps to counter constipation from the chemo, and I used to drive him when he had his knee done - I'd got out of the habit of driving much.
As others have said, once treatment gets going it's easier somehow because there's always the next thing to do.
Good luck, we've all gone through it (or are in the middle) and can empathise and sometimes have useful suggestions.
We have no update on going forward my husband seems to take it better than me he said that he is nearly 80 and had a good life and what will be will be and thankyou for your replies as so.etimes you tend to think you are the only ones
I'm the one with the cancer, my wife a mere carer. That's how Sam (my wife) feels. When people call, they ask how I am. When we see friends out and about, they ask how I am. Very rarely how Sam is, how she's coping.
Make sure you get supported through this time, along with hubby. He might not think he needs help now, but there will be times when he most certainly does.
Eviels welcome to this lovely friendly group. I hope you find us supporting and it gives you strength . I echo grumpyparr reply to you. Sorry you have found yourself here, and it is so important that you get the support too. stay intouch with the forum, there is a wealth of experience here to help you through.
I'm also new here, and my husband also has bladder cancer, and currently receiving BCG treatment.
He was diagnosed in January and it’s been such a shock and life changer…
reading the posts shared here, feels so familiar, sometimes the staying strong for my husband is tough, especially when I see the impact it’s having, on his physical and emotional being.
Its like if I show a chink in my amour he then has to put on a braver face.
so, I’m trying to be as strong as possible, so it gives him room to feel able to be real in his cancer treatment and the massive changes.
that can be tough, so I’m looking for support outside of the family/friends because it becomes to central ‘elephant in the …’ everything.
i had been a member of netmums and shared my story at the start of my husband’s diagnosis, and sharing how I was feeling ( back then I was so frustrated that our family had been impacted…like we were immune). The response was on the whole supportive, but there had been a few people in that community who had been toxic suggesting in a variety of ways, I stop complaining and support my husband- which I was and am- it just sometimes feels so lonely and I am at a deep level quite scared, he’s in his 50’s and the world to us all.
i have been to my GP, who suggested MacMillan- hence my returning to a safer community.
I’m not sure what to do next, especially with reaching out for help, so advice is very welcome.
Also to connect with others who might be experiencing similar.
