Good morning Odge, I don't say that flippantly, but with love and empathy. In my house, I'm the one living with cancer, my wife, as you are, is the often overlooked supporter. My rock and sounding board.
My treatment for now has stopped, and we get used to the new normal. You are quite right in your comment about the elephant in the room! Also, that the carer is often overlooked. Sometimes I feel I have failed in my "husband duty" to look after my family. Totally irrational, but it's a feeling which comes and goes.
It's so important for you to express your feelings in a supportive environment. So, the silly question, have you spoken with a counsellor? I'm all for the pink fluffy and what it can enable. The trouble with talking to friends (sometimes), is they try to cure rather than just listen. Also, there's the awkwardness of what you might want to say and how that's received.
Hang in the Odge. It's tough. You, your family and husband will get through this, hopefully this forum won't judge, we're all going through a similar experience.
I know how you feel I am so frustrated by it all staying strong is so hard he had a catheter on ehich is stressing him out I really hate seeing him like this
Hi Eviels, please dont apologise for feeling low , your world has been turned upside down and feeling overwhelmed is totally understandable. It may be helpful to you to talk to macmillan . I think their phonelines are open till 8pm? . It is hard trying to deal with this diagnosis. Be kind to yourself, you are going through it too and need support. stay in touch, i hope this forum can help you
Hi Odge, As you say, having to stand by and watch is hard, even harder than being the patient. It is very important you get enough support as you can make yourself ill with the worry, I know people in your position who have done. I'm sure there are many here who can empathise.
Can you explain to your husband that you need to feel you are in this together and that if you are upset it's normal and that he doesn't need to feel he has to make it better for you. Sometimes a cuddle is enough. I speak as a cancer patient here although I have been in your position too.
Being scared is normal of course, cancer is scary, but as you see on this forum you can have a good life despite illness. I hope you can learn to take each day as it comes, after all worry doesn't cure cancer. And though it's flip to say it, we could get run over by a bus at any time. Let the future take care of itself.
My husband and I have found that we can enjoy simple things like listening to good music, eating a slice of cake with a coffee and talking about something and nothing. Cancer brought us closer in many ways because we have faced it together.
