Hello, I'm being treated for bladder cancer

And wanted to say hi and talk through my experience so far. I'm a 43 year old chap from somewhere in rainy England.

In late June, I was having a shower and had to get out, due to severe abdominal pain. I got out and was pinned to the floor in pain. My health isn't always amazing, but I'm a fully functioning adult and I knew that wasn't right. I went to my GP who found blood in my urine and suspected kidney stones. I was directed to the local hospital who performed a scan and found a shadow in my bladder. Minor alarm bells started ringing.

Next on the itinerary was a CT scan, which was wild and my first experience of really needing to pee. The real shock was when I got a letter the next day asking me to go for a cystoscopy. I knew at that point something wasn't up. At this stage, the fear and anxiety started to gobble me up. Every Google (I know, try and stop me) led to the same thing. 

I went along with my mother, who was outside but heard my screams as the camera was inserted (what pain relief right?). I looked up and saw on the screen the inside of my bladder. There was a very distinctive lump. I could sense the conversations around me turn into concern. Eventually I got off the table, still covered in lube and went for another very urgent pee. The doctor then showed me a photo of what I'd already seen, explaining she didn't know what it was and she'd need to refer to the consultant. This was the first time my mum knew something was up. I'd already guessed.

Expecting an update the next day, I was devastated to find the consultant was on annual leave. The audacity! I waited and waited and phoned an already harassed receptionist/ PA daily. It was mid July by this stage, and I was lucky enough to have enough to stuff to keep busy. I'm a supply teacher doing a maternity cover at a local secondary school. Also, to add context I was getting married two weeks from that point. So I'm busy! Very busy. It still the longest wait of my life.

Eventually, just short of a week later, I was prepping a classroom display and I got a phone call. I bravely answered the persistent unknown number. It was a consultant. During this call, the lump was called a tumour for the first time and I was going to have a TURBT. I went into shock and explained to those who needed to know what was going on and was sent home. Throughout the day I explained to my family (including my brother, who is currently going through cancer too), friends and my husband-to-be. As a natural empath, I felt deeply sorry for those around me. I was aware that I had all the control and my loved ones could only sit, watch and comfort.

I go in for a pre operation assessment, the day before my wedding day. This is the first time I'm told they're treating it as bladder cancer and that was now beginning my five years of observations. I was with my soon to be husband. I was relieved to know what I was dealing with. He was shocked but supportive. Since it was clear this was more serious than initially thought I've employed a 'plan for the worst (research and understanding), hope for the best' policy to my life. It's kept me going.

Anyway I got married the next day! It was a blast, the best day etc. The ceremony was emotional, the party was everything and then a luxury hotel room to finish the night. Would recommend!

Fast forward to last week and I go in for my TURBT. I was lucky enough to be considered young enough(!) to be out within the day. I can't say it was my favourite day of my life. Having a catheter pulled out of my penis, was to put it mildly absolutely hideous. Marginally worse than having the catheter in, which was the least natural thing I can imagine. Needing a pee for five hours, never having a satisfaction, but there's a huge bag of it anyway. Then peeing out blood and blood clots. Really one to file under "what did you expect?"

Anyway the NHS staff were fabulous. Kind and normal, just what I needed. That was a week ago and I'm healing nicely at home. I accidentally overdid it on Saturday and there was some more blood, but that was a one off. Still two weeks for a fuller diagnosis (there's little beginning and end with this journey is there?)

I guess I just needed to overshare somewhere and found this little hub. I'll update if there's any demand.

Be kind and good luck!