Very frightened

Arh Herothedog, kind words and yes it's great to have you all behind me facing a different challenge. You are right the sun is out beautiful birdsong and I am making the most of being outside and reading and resting. 

Yes hopefully it can be dealt with and my body responds well to a different treatment plan. God all such hard work but the last three and a half years have been great apart from interruptions of bcg but I managed those with working as well.

Sometimes life isn't easy is it but I am always grateful for the small things and nature. Thanks for the back up it really helps to have support from others who know what it's all about. Xxxx

I was wondering Bumblebee, if you've got a decent NHS pension maybe now is the time to step away from work and concentrate on doing things that make your heart sing? I was 27 years a teacher when I took early retirement. After all those years of full-time working it was scary but I've never regretted it. Sending love Hx

I second that, having taken very early retirement. I was so tired of working 14 hour days with morons and when one of them foolishly tried to bully me I got a severance package and went. That was a big company and I hadn't got cancer then.

You can live much more simply when you can walk or take public transport and don't need to dress up for work. I haven't worn tights for over 20 years, or skirts, or tight clothes, or makeup or wasted time being nice to people I don't rate...

I have spent time with family,  taking classes, reading, writing, going to museums, exercising.

All the best,

Latestart

Hi Herothedog, yes retiring is the plan I was going to cut my hours down from 28 to maybe 3 days, was trying to get to may 2027 when I will get my state pension. I am not sure if my NHS pension will be fantastic as I have always worked part time and in admin, less well paid then clinical staff but it might just be I have to bite the bullet and leave earlier especially if I have to have strong treatment etc, I would definitely not be able to continue and by the time I hopefully come through it, it probably would not be worth going back. 

It is time to do the things in life you want to do as you say that make your heart sing. Good advice Hero xx

Yes time for yourself and to do all the nice things in life like you mentioned, I think it's that time. Need to get through this crisis first and hope I will still be around to have my time at last after working for so long. Thanks latestart, Glad you are spending your time well xx

Hi, Bumblebee. obviously while you are in active treatment you should be on sick-leave and qualify for sick pay. The early retirement arrangements start after that. My GP signed me off sick for 6 months and when my sick pay was about to stop, I applied for early retirement with her support. That was 26 years ago and actually afterwards I did a Mediation training, and worked part-time for another 14 years with separating families. But it left time for me to milk goats, dig my garden and walk my dogs over the moor. Bonkers but after a hectic city life I have loved it. If you have dreams grab them.xx

That is so humbling and your life sounds idyllic with goats and dogs and the moors and probably helps to keep you healthy. That sounded very interesting mediation work with families. Yes Hero I think it's time to grab my chances and have some dreams. Just need to get this current problem sorted and get back on track. There is more to life isn't there. Thank you for your encouragement xx

Hi BB,

Sorry to hear all that you're going through.

Wishing you all the best with your future tests etc.

Take care.

Trevor.

Thanks Trevor, the trials and tribulations of bloody cancer. Cheers for thinking of me xx

PET Scan tomorrow at St Thomas hospital and the gynaecology team have called to arrange an appt need to call them tomorrow, so that is quick after Friday's appt at Guys. This is good.