Looking for things that are not there….

Hi Nigel,

Hope you are well. I've not really been on here a lot recently either , lot's going on with the mother in law, but I do still read the posts even if I don't always respond.

I guess we all are more aware having gone through the process etc and I still pay attention when going for a wee also.

I had blood in my wee, but not visible. Only when they do tests before each BCG and biopsies, but they don't seem concerned.

My BP seems a bit high lately, no idea why but you think the worst right.... It was fine in October 2024, but had my first one since then and was shocked... Brain goes into overdrive I guess. 

Hope your doggie is on the mend.

Trevor 

Morning Trevor, thanks for your reply.

i think it’s just stress with me, I’m ok now after an ok-ish nights sleep…

Hope it all sorts itself with your mother in law…the dog slept with us all night…he’s on the mend. I think my brain s permanently on overdrive….

love to all mate Nigel xx

Come on you Spurs! I have been looking down the toilet bowl for over five years now. Everytime it’s clear I yell a silent YES. I try and be positive all the time with everything.  When I go to play golf I always imagine I will have a good round or Friday’s curry will be great or PNE will one day play in the Premier League. Most of all I am determined to live with and beat this cancer. Stay positive Nigel. Every clear day is a winner. Garviv

Afternoon Garviv, thank you for the reply, I think it’s just was the stress of the dog being in surgery that got me overthinking everything… I’m ok for now…hahaha I can laugh today at checking my wee all the time…I’m taking your positivity and using it…

golf… a good few years ago now, I joined bushy golf club. I wanted to get from 28 down to what I could…I got an audiobook on positive thinking when it comes to golf and visualising your shot ect…and all little tips to keep the negative thoughts away..

so I was an enthusiastic golfer who used to go around in about 105, every now and again I would get under 100. after 6 months of practice 4 nights a week plus the listening to this audio book.. I pyed a round with a mate and shot an 85, missing a 4 footer on the last…I got down to a 20 handicap… and then life got in the way… I will stay positive..

i look forward to PNE v TOTTENHAM…

cheers again Garviv..

Nigel xx 

Hi Rob 

I was peeing considerable blood and in quite some pain before I had by turbt back at the end of November. A few days after the operation the pain had gone and so had the blood and I have been free from them since . However that does not stop me checking every time iam at the toilet. Every clear pee is a bonus. 

My cancer is muscle invasive so a RC is required along with the prostrate so if I can keep blood and pain  free until march I'll be happy.

Gargiv is absolutely right about the positivity and its my motto to in continually thinking positive 

Best of luck and stay positive 

Mark

You so have the right attitude Mark. Great approach to coping with cancer xxx Glad the TURBT relieved your discomfort and fingers crossed for you in March. Keep us posted about your progress. Sending best wishes Hx

H

I think we are all very observant after treatment  ,hoping and praying for normal colour at every pee. 

 I'm nearly 8 months post turbt.  I'm still looking/checking anxiously. Up and down days about it. ..next camera check due end of Feb. Hopefully I'll settle down after that.

Hope you keep in a good headspace 

Chris

I'm glad things are going OK for you - having had my bladder removed because of muscle-invasive bladder cancer I know what's in store for you.

Two years on, things are going well and if anyone says I'm being positive I say I try to remain optimistic. It sounds the same but I have a reason. 

Years ago (long before I had cancer) I read a book called Smile or Die by a famous US writer - Barbara Ehrenreich. I was working with lots of Americans who talk so much about being positive all of the time in all circumstances and frown on anything that seems negative - they consider we Brits are pessimists ie, negative. We like to think we are realists.

Ehrenreich probably never thought much about this, until she got breast cancer. Then people kept, sometimes quite aggressively, telling her to 'be positive' and she began to realise that underneath they meant that if the cancer didn't respond to treatment or recurred, it would be because she had not thought positively enough!  This was sometimes even explicit in the way people talked about cancer. It made her so angry she wrote the book, and explains the title.

I'm sure most people do not think like that here, but I find leaning towards optimism makes me and the people around me feel better and have learnt that, just as worry doesn't cause or cure cancer, my thoughts have no effect on whether I remain cancer free or not.

Thanks for your kind comments latestart.

People will approach a cancer diagnosis in different ways. That's human nature we are all emotional different in many ways.

When I got My diagnosis back in November I sat for a few days trying to comprehend what it all meant. It was certainly going to take myself and and my family down new and uncertain paths.

To counter act these uncertainties I believed from that very early stage that I had to remain positive for myself and those around me. I couldn't let myself decline mentally In any way.

I was determined from the start that I would beat this cancer and this determination will remain  with me until the day I hopefully do 

Maybe sometimes I push the positivity thing on the forum too much iam not sure.

Sometimes iam not sure I say the right things or give the right advice but positivity seems to work for me.

Mark

 Hi Nigel 

you have had a nasty shock as we all have pal and some people like to air their concerns and anxiety and others don’t it’s completely normal that you feel the way you do and are questioning everything that goes on within your body the slightest little thing and it’s what’s that now and this is a bit different try and look on the brighter side your being vigilant and aware and if anything concerns you to the extent where you need to contact your medical team then know you’ll get the help you need 

Ste