Delayed...

Hi DippyHippy . Sorry to hear about your setback in treatment. It must be very frustrating on top of everything else you are dealing with. As regards transport, have you asked about NHS patient transport ? In the NW it is a free service to anyone entitled to it. I was transported daily for my radiotherapy sessions. My wife currently uses the service as she prepares for a knee replacement in a hospital 30 miles away. Most times it is a volunteer ambulance car driver or a contracted taxi service. Your GP can provide you with the contact details if available in your area.I hope you get things sorted out. Best wishes.

Hi,I feel for you having been in a similar situation with my late mother.I don’t drive,we had little money and I was her sole carer.Mum’s dementia was fairly advanced by the time I got cancer and I had no option but to put her reluctantly into respite care arranged via social services.The stubbornness and refusal to accept help makes it so hard but you have to think of your own health mental and physical.
If you go ahead with the cystectomy you won’t be physically able to look after your mother for a while.Have you had a carers assessment ? It is worth finding out what help is available even if your mother is resistant.You can lead a good life after cystectomy.I was able to have my mother back home and resume caring for her until her final year or so.love Jane 

Thank you, that's so assuring, I really have felt trapped.  But you seem to have negotiated a similar path.  Thank you again.

It is tough having to care for someone when you have cancer especially when you have no or little support network.You will have to think about what your mother can do physically for herself as if you do go ahead with the cystectomy You wouldn’t be able to pick herself up if she fell at least not for a few months.My mother was in a wheelchair and bending over that constantly  8 months post op was uncomfortable.We got through it but I did have to have extra help from 2 carers.I secured extra funding for nursing care for mum when she was totally dependent in the nursing home.I had to fight for it but was successful and that extra money helped mum.I wish you all the best.love Jane x

Thank you so much Xx

Thank you for your words, I have got some information from a local agency who will take care of mum while I am hospital, they will come to the house, she seems to be okay with that.  Thank you so much, you provided a direction for me, I have registered with them so they will also help when I come home from hospital.  That's a terrific weight lifted...again thank you.  I was really stuck and couldn't see any way through...this has been the answer.

That must be a tremendous relief.I’m pleased for you both.My mum settled into the care home despite her initial reluctance.She was lucid enough then to know it was the best solution for us.Hopefully you can focus on your health now and getting better.love Jane x

Winkers has given you good advice. Something else to consider is what will happen to your health if you don’t have the op and would you be able to care for your mother then? Also, sadly, she is only going to deteriorate and the time may come when you have to consider residential care for her, for the benefit of both of you. Very difficult decisions, I know. Very best wishes.

Just been informed further reason for the delay is I have Stage 3 Chronic Kidney Disease which has put additional consideration about the operation and it's outcome.

I hope you can get some feedback about whether there is anything you can do or eg drugs to take to help deal with the kidney problem.