Neobladder and being transgender

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My partner has bladder cancer she is 34 years old and she is transgender going from male to female. She is waiting to have her surgery they are trying to see if they can combine both surgeries together 

She is depressed and scared  and she feels like she is alone and I don't know how to help her. So I came on here to try and find anyone going through the same thing. She is scared to have the surgery.

I also have another question what was your feelings like when you found out so I can show her she is not alone. 

  • Hi  and a warm welcome to the group. It is understandable how you both must be feeling. She is certainly not alone in the way she feels. Many of us and our partners know the thoughts and feelings. Just the word cancer strikes fear in to you, but be aware , bladder cancer can be treated successfully. Do you know what the bladder surgery she is having ? Best wishes. 

    Best wishes to All,   rily.

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  • Sooo awful at such a young age. May I ask your partner is going from male to female??? So will they do a neo bladder along with a female construction.  (Sorry I may not have the right wording). I cannot imagine. As my husband has a neo bladder. Which is amazing. However, the work you have to put in re:new bladder. Waking every 2 hours . What have they advised? Xx

    Kimdav

  • Frightened but there is light at the end of the tunnel.  My husband had stage 3 muscle invasive bladder cancer on October 4th it will be 3 yrs. He was healthy enough to have a neo bladder . Which is great. He is doing really well. But I think just to hear the word Cancer is terrifying but we are out the other end & extremely grateful xxx

    Kimdav

  • Hi again  . Please excuse my vague earlier post. I didn't pick up on the neobladder part in your header. Best wishes.

    Best wishes to All,   rily.

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  • Sorry, I said about neo bladder. As that's what my husband had & also Nicole 1234 was saying her partner is going from male to female so they may do both ops at once??? So I presumed neo?? Xxx

    Kimdav

  • She is having a neobladder 

  • Yes they want to do both surgeries at the same time that adds to her fear I wish I could help her but I don't know how I feel so useless

  • Hi nicole1234,Welcome to the group.Your partner will be grateful for your support.I hope you will find it helpful here and that your partner will feel less alone.Everyone here will offer support and advice.I expect the people who had neo bladders will be along soon to advise.If your partner can get as fit as possible it will help her with the surgery.Ask any questions there is usually someone here who can answer.Jane x

  • Hi Nicole,

    Welcome to this friendly group, but really sorry to hear about your partner's diagnosis.

    Unfortunately I can't offer any advice regarding the operation, my cancer treatment went a different route, but I just wanted to wish you and your partner all the best.

    Take care.

    Trevor 

  • I think that helplessness is common when you see a loved one scared or in pain, that you cannot relieve. Just listen if she wishes to talk, or provide space if she needs it. Exercise (any sort of being active) & getting outdoors are good stress relievers.

    All sounds a big op, but good that the hosp is being constructive about combining the two surgeries. To us, of course it is all a big unknown - to the surgeons, something they do regularly. My op was 13 years ago but I can recall well how weak and tired I felt immediately afterwards. I guess the combined surgery will have an impact on 'training' the neo. Your partner should have a specialist nurse who will help with that. Hope you don't have too long to wait & that all goes well.