Newbie, 44m GSOH seeks likeminded friends

Hi Robbo79

very warm welcome to this friendly forum. The folks on here have calmed my fears and held my virtual hand through each step since diagnosis of high risk non muscle invasive bladder cancer last april, and i know will be here for me throughout. The anxiety of all the tests scans and waiting for results is absolutely draining, both physically and emotionally. You are absolutely normal like the rest of us in feeling scared. I was in panic mode when i first came on here ( still get anxiety when waiting for results etc) and these guys quickly reassured me that i would begin to feel better when a treatment plan was in place. Its the not knowing is the hard bit. I learned a long time ago to say “ thoughts arent facts Angela. 
Take a deep breath, you are among friends.

good luck with the CT

much love Angela

Hi Robbo79, welcome to the wonderful world of wee.!! When I was diagnosed last June with BC it was my husband (army/ 22yrs) that broke down on the phone when I told him… it’s hard to shake of that hard exterior but sometimes life throws a curve ball and breaks it down.

dont be hard on yourself, take one step at a time, I tried to run too far ahead at the start and it does you no favours, just clouds all your thoughts but I wanted to be in control, but we can’t.

One bit of advice Stay Away from Dr Google… that was the first thing I was told on here, and it does make a diffence.

lots of helpful, friendly listeners on here
best wishes

Julia x

Hi Robbo79 and welcome to our friendly and supportive group. We know the range of emotions you are going through at the moment. Just the word cancer strikes fear but bladder cancer can be treated successfully. We have all done the Google, but stay away from it as there is a lot of out of date and misinformation out there. Stay with us. The CT scan is standard to give them a part of the jigsaw, but mainly to rule anything else out. The next step is usually a flexible cystoscopy which is a camera in to the bladder to see what is going on. A painless but slightly uncomfortable procedure. You will be able to see for yourself anything untoward. They will then take things from there. Always difficult breaking news to the family but once you do you will find things easier. I had grown ups and used some humour explaining the indignities we go through. Although I knew they were worried, it made things a lot easier to talk about. Many of us have been in your position and come through it. Best wishes.

Angela, thank you so much. I will cling to that statement with dear life! “Thoughts aren’t facts”, I love it and you are so right!! It’s the nights that are hard at the moment, the grey matter runs wild! Thanks again!!

Hi Julia, thanks for the sound advice. I broke earlier like a cheap NAAFI watch! I know we are never truly in control of life but you always seem to take everything for granted. Guess I will strap in and get ready for the roller coaster ride of my life. 

Rily, thank you. You’ve just told me more about what will happen than my doctor! That’s the bit that has been really concerning. They have told me nothing, I had to book hospital appointments as they didn’t do referrals correctly which dragged everything out. I’m assuming when I see urologist on the 15th they will do a cystoscopy? Will check that tomorrow. Then if need be the dreaded family chat! That will be difficult as my two live in Germany, their mums up to speed already so will muddle through! Thanks for the message!

Robbo79, my husband always goes on about the 3 PPP…last 2 are poor & preparation. No one prepares you for this journey but hopefully it won’t be too rocky for you just take it in your stride, one at a time, and if you have a wobble shout out we’re all doing or have done this journey, some slightly different but altogether.

i bet you could do with a trip to the NAAFI right now.!!!
Julia x

Hi Robbo79, I'll add my twopence-worth of welcome and advice to all the sound stuff the crew have already said. Taking this particular post of yours. Worth tackling all the standard sleep hygiene stuff. No screens or blue light for min i hour before as-regular-as-possible bedtime. F-lux free app is very useful for toning down screens before you switch off. Ensure sleeping space is properly blacked out and stays that way until up time in the morning. Give your nose a good gentle blow so you can breathe easily. Hang a wet flannel over any heater/rad so air is not too dry. Get in bed and try counting your breath in and out, and concentrate on doing this. It really does help many people, including me, nod off peacefully.

Julia, cheers to you and your husband. NAAFI bar would certainly lighten the mood! Thank you for the calming common sense. I will certainly be relying on any guidance/advice given as the “sprog” of the group. 

Hi Denby, tuppence is much appreciated. I will give the hooter a good blow and give the breathing thing a trial run in a bit. I’m glad I stumbled to this forum, everyone is so kind!!