Hi everyone I'm new here and apologize in advance for the long post. My otherwise healthy 80 year old supermom was diagnosed with Anal cancer in late November. Plan was chemo radiation therapy. Then PET scan and MRI showed 2 lung nodules. Fine needle biopsy of those showed metastasis from anal cancer. I might add inguinal nodes are also involved. Fast foreword to this week Stage 4 diagnosis oncology team has changed treatment plan to high dose Chemo every three weeks indefinitely with follow up scan in 3 months. A "palliative care appointment is scheduled Friday. 1st day of chemo is tomorrow. I am a RN however in the operating room so I'm out of my league here which is why I am here. Because of this diagnosis from high risk HPV which she had no idea she had and would have been 30yrs ago. She is devastated embarrassed and won't discuss with anyone but dad and me. When they told her palliative care she assumed hospice and thinks she's going to die inside of a few months if not tomorrow. I have tried to explain this does not mean hospice and Chemo is to try and halt the spread to other areas. Trying to keep her positive and not terrified but any advice yall can give or anyone with similar situations would be much appreciated.
Hi im sorry about your mums diagnosis. I just had the standard treatment so can't really help you but there is a lovely lady on here who contributes regularly who was stage 4 with lungs involved and she's a few years down the line now. I'm not going to name her as not sure if that's appropriate but I'm 100% positive she will pick up on your post and be able to give you some advice. This forum is very supportive with lots of people who are either going through it or out the other side and have stayed to support others. Sending hugs. Xx
Hello lovely
I’m stage 3 Anal cancer with secondary sites in my groin lymph. I understand the embarrassment your mama is feeling. My mum tells people I have colorectal or bowel cancer. My friends (I’m 52) and I decided to make fun of it. Rather than a pretty pink ribbon they brought me sunflowers I talk about having cancer in my butt. We use humour to detract from the bloody awful reality of it all. Your mums regime will be gruelling even without the radiotherapy. But they fact they are treating her means they can prolong her life. Unfortunately I was in hospital with women in their 40’s whose treatment was stopped completely. I was also in hospital with a lovely 82 year old who had treatment who I’m going to visit next week. This cancer may not be one of the pretty ones but humour helps (one of my first comments to my close close friend was ‘I hope everyone doesn’t think I do non-stop anal’
. And we laughed until we nearly choked.
Sending love to you and your mama x
Hello Supportingmum,
I am sorry to hear about your mum.
My partner was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer about the same time as your mum.
She has been give a simllar treatment path, three rounds of chemo, then a scan followed by another three cycles of chemo. (3 weeks on and 1 week off per cycle)
Whether anyone at Stage 4 has immediately had other treatment laid out rather than chemo to start I'm not sure.
You can easily research survival rates at different stages (for any cancer) and without quoting here it is I think fair to say that the percentage after five years survival decreases the higher the stage at diagnosis, as you would expect. I have therefore found it heartening to find articles online about people at Stage 4 (including anal cancer) who have defied any life expectancy estimate given to them at the time of diagnosis. As I'm sure you will know better than me from your profession, there are of course so many different parameters apply in each individual case of course, how much spread there has been, overall fitness of the individual and their individual lifestyle factors etc When my partner was first diagnosed she did look really incredibly unwell. She now looks much, much better and has done so more once the chemo began to be honest.
Anyway, I hope this is some help and wishing your mum and you all the very best.
This - your last paragraph - there should be a laughing emoji! xx
Bungle1 I don't ever mind if you flag me! x
SupportingMumStageFourAnalcancer, I have answered your other post which I hope gives her possible future treatment plan, and just wanted to echo the others with regard to an anal cancer diagnosis - anyone who has ever had intercourse is at risk from this and your Mum has absolutely nothing to be ashamed over. And in any case, it is completely her choice what she tells people, it is a GI cancer and that is all she need say if people are curious (and they can be). xxx
I also told her to tell people it's rental cancer or actually said tell them it's none of the business lol to which she replied to be nice. Trying to keep her laughing and positive. Thank you so much you all are helping so much more than you know hugs
I as an RN have stopped looking at rates for Stage 4. It's disheartening and I'm being positive and know my mom is such a rock star she's going to be a success story. But all of your kind replies have given me a renewed sense of hope. Yall are just the village I need. Wishing your partner and you positive vibes as well thank you so much!
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