Hi everyone I'm new here and apologize in advance for the long post. My otherwise healthy 80 year old supermom was diagnosed with Anal cancer in late November. Plan was chemo radiation therapy. Then PET scan and MRI showed 2 lung nodules. Fine needle biopsy of those showed metastasis from anal cancer. I might add inguinal nodes are also involved. Fast foreword to this week Stage 4 diagnosis oncology team has changed treatment plan to high dose Chemo every three weeks indefinitely with follow up scan in 3 months. A "palliative care appointment is scheduled Friday. 1st day of chemo is tomorrow. I am a RN however in the operating room so I'm out of my league here which is why I am here. Because of this diagnosis from high risk HPV which she had no idea she had and would have been 30yrs ago. She is devastated embarrassed and won't discuss with anyone but dad and me. When they told her palliative care she assumed hospice and thinks she's going to die inside of a few months if not tomorrow. I have tried to explain this does not mean hospice and Chemo is to try and halt the spread to other areas. Trying to keep her positive and not terrified but any advice yall can give or anyone with similar situations would be much appreciated.
I think your all lovely ladies and thanks to you ladies I think I might just be able to struggle through this a little better 
I did mean you. Didn't think you would mind if I put your name but didn't think I should without your say so. Xx
Hi SupportingmomStage4analcancer ,
I’m so sorry to hear of your mums recent diagnosis but just wanted to offer you another warm welcome to the MacMillan Online Community.
I see that Irene has already replied to you regarding your mums treatment plan & she was the first person I thought of when I read your post. Also the whole HPV thing, I can understand your mum being of the generation that she is feeling the way she does, those of us that know a little more about HPV know that the majority of people that have been sexually active in their lifetime, not necessarily with multiple partners, will have come into contact with the virus & it’s just unfortunate that some of us at some point in our lives don’t seem to clear it as efficiently as others & it causes issues such as this!
Before I had my own diagnosis & got educated in different terminologies I too would have thought my number was up if someone had mentioned palliative care but now realise it covers many things. Palliative care is not just for those at the end of their lives. Palliative nursing can be involved for those living with any chronic condition, it can be used for pain control & improvements on quality of life, all number of things & can often help you access other services too.
Also as a footnote to yourself it’s really important for you to take care of yourself too, we also have a support group for family & friends who are supporting a loved one with a cancer diagnosis, if you fancied having a look just click on this link Family and friends forum but please remember we’re also here to support you too. Please let us know how your mum gets on with her treatment.
Thinking of you all.
Nicola
