Week three of treatment - reflections

Hi Ali,

Yes, do think of it as half way; once you are finished you can stay home, lie on the sofa (or sit on the loo!), watch TV, read and just look after yourself. No daily trips to hospital, no more chemo. As you say the effects can carry on after the treatment has stopped, but I found strength in my head knowing I was finished and just nursing myself through as it tailed off. Which it does of course, and you start to realise that things are is improving, little by little.

I am a lover of painkillers - any excuse! - so I was impressed that you are just on paracetamol. Please ask for something a bit stronger if you need it. It may just ease things for you a little and it's not forever. Don't worry about how bad it can get, as you said we all react differently, and you need to just deal with things as they come at you (but mention anything as soon as you feel the tiniest twinge so they can hit it early)

It's great that you had a fab Christmas. Now you can start to play things forward and imagine the Spring when you will be well on the way to healing. Remember it's a really effective treatment, and each session is working on getting you back to the Badass you are. 

Hugs

Oh Ali

There is nothing worse than putting on a brave face when what you really want to do is have a good howl.  Sometimes, actually a lot of the times, the intensity and relentless slog of daily treatment really grinds you down.  But even though the effects of treatment don't peak immediately it stops there is something wonderful at the end of sinking back into bed (between loo visits and Sitzbath dunking) and not having to be anywhere.

You haven't waffled in the least.  And if you need more pain relief, now isn't the time to be a hero - take what is on offer and ask for stronger if needs be.

And giving up HRT too!  No wonder you are overwhelmed.

Huge hug, Ali, you will get there.

Irene xx

Hi 

You are over half way keep counting the days down. Cry if you need to, I was emotional some days cried all the way to hospital and cried coming home, even cried at the poor radiotherapists some days. I understand you not wanting to upset other people, that's why I went by myself to hospital only had to worry about me, but sometimes we need others to be the strong ones (I should take my own advice). I know they say it gets worse for two weeks after, but I didn't look at it like that, I just thought treatments finished fingers crossed it's worked now we recover. You got this. Xx

Thanks for keeping up updated Ali!!  No not waffling at all. We need to hear about your and other peoples experience. Good and not so good.  We listen to you. Support you and feel for you. Sound off here!!  We do want to hear your story!!  xx

Hi Ali (MrsBadass ),

Please don’t apologise for ‘waffling’ I didn’t see your post as waffling at all but more in the vein it was intended, informative.

Also a good cry can relieve a lot of stress when you’re going through a tough time so never apologise for releasing your emotions plus coming off your HRT is going to be playing a massive part in the way you’re feeling right now.

It can also be strangely cathartic to document your journey either here or in journal form, sometimes getting it down on paper so to speak frees up a little headspace for other things which is good as going through a diagnosis & subsequent treatment can be all consuming as we all know so please keep posting if you feel this is helping you & it keeps us up to date on how you’re doing which is great, not long now & we can begin reading of your recovery too. Wishing you lots of luck with week 4! 

Nicola 

Ah thank you so much Mrs Vanilla  - I'm really focused at the moment on trying to eat and eating simple with the hope that it improves my BM. So far today has been much better than the last two days (after going a tad wild on Christmas and Boxing days).

I see the radiotherapy nurse tomorrow for my weekly review and will ask about next steps for pain relief so I'm prepared.  The paracetamol that I took at 6 am didn't make much of a dent.

Thank you for the optimism and advice.  

Take care Ali x

Thank you Irene75359  it's always a great pleasure reading your responses to posts - thanks for taking the time and always responding with such kindness and valuable insights.

I am so looking forward to "active" treatment being done...  The early appointments feel me with fear re controling by BMs - and knowing this is week 4, already, feels like a miracle.  

Sitz baths and coconut oil are heavenly... I hope I'm doing enough to look after my skin.  And yes I'll check in on the pain relief as I think I could do with something stronger.... 

Thanks again x

Hey Bungle1  thanks so much for taking the time to respond and share!  This is such a supportive community and I'm so here for it. 

I don't know how you managed to get yourself to and from the hospital..  honestly these last few days I've been very over it and feeling super sorry for myself - and then I remind myself that I'm on the home stretch.... Fingers crossed

Thanks for advice.... I feel like the end is in sight... Every hour that ticks by.....

Take care 

Ali x

Bless you Fellsider  appreciate your support and encouragement to continue to share x 

Thanks Nikki65 

I did try journalling but I ended up depressing myself - it was such a pity party!  

It's definitely getting tougher... The last three treatment days have been a bit much and I'll be asking for some better pain relief tomorrow and I'm so looking forward to having NYs day off and then two days and then the weekend - thankfully. 

Thanks for all your support, encouragement and advice - it's warmly welcomed. 

Thank you

Ali x