Sexual identity

Hi Ian L c2e27 

That's not something I had thought about.  The treatment is highly successful so hopefully it won't be an issue for you. Are you just concerned if you have to have surgery or in general. Females can get narrowing of the vagina and we have to use dilators after treatment. I would mention your concerns to your team they maybe able to put your mind at rest. I have seen some gay men on here who have contributed so hopefully one of them will pick up on your post. Sending hugs. Xx

Hi thanks for the message

I will speak to the team about dilator

Im worried that the treatment won't work and I'll wnd up with a stoma and my anus closed which would be devastating for a gay man. I understand for anyone facing this surgery, and that individually had an effect on us gir so many reasons 

But a life without sex would be life changing 

The cholerectal surgeon stated id have chemo radiation but im concerned when I see oncology thry will have different plans

I thi k mdt is tomorrow and my oncology appointment id in 20th so I'll be discussing things In more depth 

Hi chemo and radiotherapy is the standard treatment for anal cancer. I have seen a couple of people on here who were caught early who had surgery to remove the tumour first and then the treatment after. I spoke to my oncologist about apr and he said he would do more chemo before he went down that route. Try not to worry (easier said than done I know) but I'm sure you will have the chemo and radiotherapy which is usually successful and this will all become a distant memory. Xx

Hi Ian L

I have just started my treatment and like you, was very panicked initially and catastrophising all the time. To a certain extent I still am but most people recover and do not end up having APR surgery. If I could say anything to you right now it's deal with the situation you have now and try not to look too far ahead to things that may or may not happen. It's not going to change the outcome and it just makes everything worse.

I think once you know where you are with your treatment plan you will feel a bit better. It's early days for you and it is so easy to be very pessimistic at this point.

Let us know how your appointments go. You are in the absolute best place for advice.

Best of luck, Jo

Aww thanks

I fint th8 k it helps that im in ned with a chest infection and have time to sit and ponder about how life can change rather than being in work and my mind on other things 

I hope the treatment works and I stay cancer free x

Thanks for your message, I try and stay more positive and just deal with here and now x

Hi Ian L c2e27,

 I hope that your post is picked up by other gay men who have been in the same situation as you. 
I also hope that your cancer will respond to the standard chemo radiation regime which has a really good success rate. 

I know that in that awful period after diagnosis and before starting treatment it’s all too easy to go to the worst case scenarios in your head. It’s completely understandable and we’ve all been there in our own ways.  I really hope that when you’re allocated your team they will be able to answer your questions more specifically. 
Wishing you all the best for 20th xx