Oh the lump!

Can you imagine a video of all of us, mirrors in hands, eyes squinched, bending over to get up close and personal with our nethers?

What would I do without this forum? Y'all are becoming closer to me than most of the folks I know IRL!

I'm adopting Irene's edict. SHOW ME YOUR HANDS!

:D Suz

Cannot imagine what I look like doing this, but then again I can!

Hi Jaycee

Im new to the site so please excuse any fumbles. I can relate to a few things in your post - dictors fingers  I've had 3 different ones explore while I was awake, the one with the biggest digit had me shouting GEE WHIZZ from the table  its a village surgery  a neighbour was in the waiting room. Sigh. Its when they ask 'sorry would you like me to stop?' I just cant anseer that question. Ringing the hospital - how did you get on? My OH wants me to ring the consultant this morning and ask if my radiotherapy can be brought forward as I am in so much pain. I struggle with phonecalls, always have, so this is difficult. Youd think the gravity if having an anal cancer would fire me up to make calls but it hasnt. Im not sure about any positives yet but I do know that I feel better afterwards after calls, even just touching base, helps stop the spiral of anxiety. You mentioned shutting things off..I imagine you know that holding on to feelings etc has an effect on guts. So its probably more beneficial to keeo your emotions and thoughts moving than tweaking your system by taking a bit more this and eating a bit less etc. I loathe that its so hard to get a steady system, that it swings wildly left and right til you dint know where you are  im just recovering from a colostomy operation so my food now goes into a bag. My old bum, or phantom bum as, I call it, still has urges to poop and scarily - it still reacts to emotiions. Even tho it is not connected to the system anymore. Its the nerves eh. The nervous system. You probably know all this, you sound smart and  bright and chirpy even with such awful stuff going on. Fissures are from hell arent they? As for Djokovic, I would have invited him in, and asked him why he heck he thought bouncing the ball so slowly was going to help him.;) I'm still missing the tennis, it was a good diversion from worry (especially for my poor old mum). Sorry for waffling on  but thanks, your post just vlickedcwith me. I hope things are moving in the right direction for you tday.      Lapwing

Hello Lapwing, thank you for your comments. I was for the first time in over a month visiting family yesterday and really had quite a pain free day. How you treasure those days. Because it was a buffet and you don’t like to make a fuss I tried the chilli con carne which wasn’t really spicy, very nice but paying for it today.  At last I have my CT scan but in a different hospital plus I have an appointment for some kind of Bile testing at the Nuclear medicine department (sounds very scientific). It did make me laugh about you shouting and the waiting room could hear you. Reminded me of when I had a cyst removed on my toe. Never had stitches before that needed removing and every time he pulled one out I shouted. He got a bit frustrated with me and told me to stop watching him and would I like a pillow. I said what for to cover my mouth? No! he said to lie down. Ha ha. When I returned to the waiting room my husband said they all thought I was being tortured. We have to laugh don’t we. I see my oncologist this Thursday about the lump and keeping positive as the alternative is too much to bare thinking about at the moment. 

Hi all, I had my appointment regarding my results and thankfully all is great. No sign of cancer and I did ask what it was but was just told it was an abnormal growth due to the radiation. I said I had never met anyone in my groups I attended that have had anal cancer and she told me only two percent of people with cancer is anal. She said she obviously sees more due to it being a specific cancer hospital. I asked about creams to improve scarring but she wasn’t able to help other than say try bio oil.

Jaycee, I so happy to hear that everything is fine.  What an ordeal for you, though.  I do hope your pain is easing off a bit, I have been thinking about you and getting all worked up on your behalf!  Now celebrate!

Irene xx

Thankyou Irene, so good to have this site to let off some steam when things go up and down. I was absolutely shattered when I got home and fell asleep after lunch until 5.30! Then went to bed at 10pm. My husband was quite concerned but I think I was mentally exhausted with the worry. I must learn the art of meditation. I still have this little kind of blister that looks like clear fluid on the wound but she said all looks okay and healing. I also think my spincter muscles have been affected slightly but hopefully that’s just swelling. 

Hi Jaycee

What a relief for you to hear all is well and no sign of cancer phew it's been a stressful time for you. Even though you still have some healing to go having this confirmation makes it easier to manage. 

Have a lovely weekend hope you are doing something nice to celebrate 

Carole x

I’ve been waiting to see this awesome news!  WOOHOO!  I’m so happy to see all’s fine, and I hope your recovery moves along even faster now with the burden of the “unknown” now lifted.

Best to you!

Red

For comments like this, I really feel like we need a laughing “react” option!!  

Hugs!

Red