Worries

Hi Debh1,

At 2 years post treatment I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that all of your worries & anxieties are completely natural but that doesn’t help really does it? A cancer diagnosis robs us of any trust we formally had in our health & it’s an awful feeling not to trust your own body! 

I remember feeling exactly the same as you when I was changed from 3 monthly to 6 monthly check-ups, it’s a bit unnerving when you’ve been used to that reassurance every 12 weeks. At almost 3.5 years post treatment I’m now on annual check-ups, this began last November but because I was involved in a clinical trial for my treatment I saw my oncologist in June this year as the trial had come to an end. I’ve just had my annual check-up with my surgeon & now won’t be seen for another year! Although a year seems a long time both my oncologist & my colorectal surgeon have both made it quite clear that if I’ve any worries in the meantime I can contact either of them at any time, I would encourage anyone else to do the same it’s way too stressful to just sit & worry over things. 

Like you’ve described I too had periods of soreness, if it’s any comfort these gradually got further & further apart & it rarely happens now. I spoke to my surgeon last week about the new skin still getting a little irritated from time to time & he said with radiation treatment that’s only to be expected. 

I know this probably hasn’t helped much but you’re not alone in feeling this way. If you find you’re not coping very well or your anxieties are getting the better of you you could either ring the Macmillan Helpline or ask your GP for a referral to a cancer specific counsellor. Another idea would be if you have a Maggies centre close to you they’re fab places to sit & have a chat to other survivors/thrivers. We have a Cancer Connections centre in the town where I live & they also offer a free counselling service. I know from speaking with others that cancer specific counselling can be great in equipping you with the tools to manage the anxiety that naturally occurs when you’re recovering from treatment etc. 

Nicola 

Hi @Deb1h  this is exactly how I’m feeling at the moment. We’re virtually at the same stage post-treatment and this is my first 6 month stretch without the reassurance of a 3 monthly check. The other day I had this terrible aching on the left side where the tumour was. 3 days on it has disappeared. I was in quite some pain after going to the toilet too, it was the most pain I’d had since my post treatment trips. I’m sore today as unusually I didn’t go yesterday. I know this will pass from past experience but if it doesn’t I will request an examination. If this is really praying on your mind I would perhaps consider requesting a quick check. Just try to remember the odds of it returning after 2 years on are very low . I know that doesn’t always help when you’re anxious about things though. Bev. X

Hi Deb, I understand your worries! I just had my annual CT scan and it was clear. I move from 3 month DRE's to every 6 months beginning next visit in early Feb. Yes, it makes me a bit nervous, especially since symptoms come and go. But as others have said, we can always call or email (my preference) if we have any questions or concerns. I find that my initial and post-treatment anxiety has lessened greatly...but yes, as others have said, my body betrayed me and I don't trust it as I once did. Prior to anal cancer diagnosis at 65 years old; I've never been ill (more than colds), hospitalized, surgeries...etc. I've always been a runner (marathons) and boy did the cancer diagnosis and treatment derail me!!! I am just now getting back into running. I did go to some national parks (Utah and Yellowstone) this past summer and did quite a bit of strenuous hiking with my sister. Very satisfying to see I can still be athletic!!!! Anyway, wanted to let you know I completely understand...I imagine all of us on here do...Best to you, Lynn