Face to Face

Hi Jaycee12 I can completely understand why you feel like this. I remember someone else posting in the group in the last 2-3 months or so that they had also been asked to go in for a face to face appointment to receive results and their results turned out to be fine. I really don’t think they realise the panic such a request can cause & the nurse should have told you the reason upfront without you having to ask. Please remember there can be traces of the tumour left on the first scan which are gone by the second post treatment scan as the radiotherapy keeps on working. This is not unusual. Hopefully you will get the all clear at this stage. Keeping everything crossed for you on Thursday. Bev x

Hi Jaycee12,

I know it’s not going to be much help but it’s completely natural the way you’re feeling. The pandemic has made such a difference to the way appointments are handled now & I think little thought is put into the stress that this causes. My last scans were back in the summer when the trial I’m involved in for my treatment ended & I was discharged from oncology into the care of my colorectal surgeon for the final 2 years of my surveillance, all of a sudden on Sunday, of all days, I received a text message out of the blue for an appointment on Tuesday, I rang on Monday to make sure it was correct & sure enough he wanted to see me yesterday. Now even though I knew I’m due for review around November time with this appointment coming out of the blue with no notification other than this 2 day prior warning it did concern me a little. I attended my appointment yesterday & all was fine thankfully it was only for my annual review, hopefully your appointment will result in the same good news.

I suppose what I’m trying to say is it’s really difficult trying not to preempt & read too far into these situations, after what we’ve been through it’s natural that we go straight into overthinking mode & in this case thinking because it’s a face to face appointment when your previous 2 have been over the phone it’s going to be bad news but as the nurse has said you’ve had 2 failed telephone consultations so maybe there is some protocol that says because your last 2 appointments have been telephone appointments you need a face to face now. Also if it’s any comfort regarding your lack of weight gain, it’s taken almost 3 years for me to regain the weight I lost between diagnosis & the end of treatment, now I’m trying to lose some of it again!! 

My advice would be try & keep as busy as possible today, I always find a bit of DIY at home does it for me (strange I know!) & I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow, I’ve everything crossed for good news for you & sending lots of positive thoughts your way. 

Nicola 

Thank you Nicola, I have so wanted this day to arrive and now it’s come I have gone all in a panic! Thank you for your take on the situation and feeling a little reassured. I am obviously hoping I get the NED results but also thinking I have to accept I have no control over the situation and deal with each day and what happens. I will certainly let you know the outcome on Thursday. 

Julie x

thank you Bev for your reply. I had surgery prior to treatment and hopefully the scarring has healed enough to give a good enough picture. It’s frustrating and when you get the odd niggle of the itching or ache you think the worst don’t you? As Nicola said it’s probably due to two failed attempts of phone calls due to no results. Also reassured about the weight issue now as I couldn’t understand why my weight wasn’t going up as I am no longer walking the miles I did before all this and although I try to eat healthy I eat quite a lot plus the odd sin!  I am also wondering if I will have to have an internal examination also. Will let you know Thursday how it goes.

Julie x

Hi Jaycee12 I really understand why you’re worrying, but your oncologist will want to examine you to have all the information available to her. I had my 3 month check up yesterday and had a full abdominal check, and a DRE, which is good - I want them to check as much as possible! x

Hi Arightbumdeal yes I have not seen my oncologist face to face since I was 9 weeks post treatment in August! I think I would rather have a good looking over to be sure of anything. At that time in August I had a painful fissure and had an internal, ouch! Thankfully that has healed up nicely. Julie x

Dear Jaycee12 so sorry you’re feeling so worried, I totally understand. I too am having a face to face this Friday and, like you, they say it’s just to see me as my previous meetings have been calls. I’ve been having similar symptoms to how this all began, the extreme fatigue, pain in that area and narrow stools etc but I’m just telling myself these are just normal post treatment symptoms! It seems to me that 50% of our recovery is positivity so I will just keep going. I hope you can too. We will all be thinking of you tomorrow! Sending you positive thoughts and a big hug. 

Xx

Thankyou Prettypinkroses for your supporting words. I hope your Friday appointment goes well too! I  have days where everything is going well with no discomfort apart from bowel movements that still slightly hurt but nothing like before. Then you get mucus out of the blue that makes me itch. I am beginning to think it’s diet related as when I eat something different I get this. It’s just figuring out what it is. Sometimes I can get away with going two or three times a day and then back to five  little ones! If I have to go anywhere I do consider whether I can do without a meal and it’s not diarrhoea just too regular. Like you say it can be post symptoms just reminding us what our bodies have had to endure. X

I learned recently that if you have wind and hold it in, that really aggravates the bowel and can cause mucus - so if you need to go - find somewhere to let it out!

Ha ha! Yes, trapped wind was a symptom I had before this started and am having again now. Almost like something is trapping it in there (I suppose tumour created a narrowing) and now the radiation treatment has meant that I have lost some feeling down there so I can’t actually hold it in if and when it does want to escape (which will be embarrassing in social situations!!!).

Ahhh cancer… the joy that just keeps on giving!!!