Is it normal to feel down a year after treatment ?

Hello Namet 

I am really sorry you are feeling so low.  And I think you have probably identified the causes yourself.  These dark, grey wet days don't exactly lift the spirits, I noticed the difference in my mood yesterday when there was quite a bit of sunshine in the morning and the world felt brighter again.  And of course if you are feeling low you think of the other things too, and  maybe dwell on them longer than you would do normally.  But I am also sorry that you have had little success in contacting old friends, their reaction (or lack of) sounds hurtful but it could be they are also going through their own problems and the lack of response is nothing to do with you.

At this stage, almost a year from treatment, a scan sounds like a normal checkup and it sounds as if he is being thorough.  I had the camera too, and from what I remember the preparation isn't quite as taxing as that for a colonoscopy, so I hope it is the same for you.

Finally, in answer to your question, I am four years (almost) out of treatment and normally a positive person, but I have struggled today.  I am sitting in my thick dressing gown having taken my dog for a long walk in the pouring rain and had to practically strip off when I got home.  I was chilled to the bone and have just thawed out and am sitting with my feet up, no motivation to do anything.

I hope you feel better soon, and please come on here for a chat at any time - we all need support now and then.

Big hug

Irene xx

Hi,

Well yes, you should be very proud of yourself having come this far, you have done a great job in looking after yourself and things are looking good for your longer term recovery.

But ugh, it is a very dreary time of year, and I think it is a strange time post AC. I found the joy and relief of being okay had turned to a sort of 'what now?' feeling, so I had to make myself draw up some plans for the spring and summer, and what I'd like to do, or places I'd like to visit. I also treated myself to a luxury spa day because I had lost interest in that sort of personal care and really enjoyed coming out with nice nails and soft skin.

The up side of the scans and examinations you will have over the next months and years is that at least you know you are being closely monitored and can allow the medical people to do that, whilst you get on with doing the things which may have ground to a halt whilst you were being treated. 

I hope you are soon able to catch up with some of your real friends; please post here if you need some company, or on some of the other Mac forums where your experience might be able to help other people too. xxx

Hi Namet 

Im sorry you are feeling down. Like you have said it could be a combination of things, but you have been through a lot and it takes time to process it all. Maybe ask your doctor for some counciliing it may help, i know a few people on here have done it, or maybe join some clubs and make some new friends. Plus you always have this space to chat to people. Be kind to yourself. Sending hugs. Xx

Hello Namet,

I’m sorry that you are feeling so low.

It could be a whole combination of things such as the grim time of year and the delayed psychological after effects of the whole diagnosis and treatment journey.

 Don’t underestimate what you’ve been through and I think we don’t always bounce back in the way we’d hoped or expected. I don’t think what you are feeling is entirely abnormal, and you are still having further investigations which are always unpleasant. The good thing is that your team are keeping a close eye on you physically, but maybe don’t pick up on the psychological factors.

I really do hope that you start to feel better soon. 
Sending hugs xx

Hi Namet, yes it is perfectly normal to have these feelings and you have had the biggest blow to your confidence in your body, CANCER. I’m sorry you are feeling so low and it’s probably heightened due to you living alone and the weather is very depressing too. I’m wondering if it’s worth contacting your local MacMillan to find out if they know of any groups for people who have gone through this cancer journey. I’m so lucky that in my area I have a charity that runs activities and group meetings where you can chat whilst having a coffee and cake all provided free but we all contribute towards this anyway. I don’t think anyone who attends has had anal cancer as when they were trying to match me up with a member who had the same experience when I first started I was on the waiting list for two years and no match. In the end the lovely lady who ran this phone support group did phone me herself and it was all confidential and after a few months I moved on. As  Irene has said, your friends may have other things going on in their lives. Get yourself out there, I don’t know how old you are but my husband and I joined the U3A. Look on facebook to see if they have groups of interest or hobbies like knitting groups or the library who have book clubs. Get yourself out there and make new friends. This sounds silly but when I worked in the mental health field we were told to look in the mirror and smile and say I am happy as it retrains the negative thinking which your brain is stuck in. Good luck

Julie