The end is in sight .... or so I thought lol

You’ve got this - and you’re so much closer to the end than the beginning. 

I completely understand about not wanting to take opiates. I was petrified of getting constipated so I refused them and just managed on paracetamol and nurofen. The broken glass feeling was the worst of the pain for me but thankfully I only had it for a couple of days (just after treatment finished) and it stopped as quickly as it started. 

I know we are all different, but it might be helpful to know that I was pretty much back to normal 10 days after finishing treatment. I’m now 11 weeks on and just waiting anxiously for a date for my first scan. 

You are clearly very strong - keep pushing through. The end of treatment is in sight. x

Thank you petal  that's really encouraging to know your experience and I'm sending the most positive vibes your way for your scan xx

Hi Beckym16798147d You got clean, you can do this. I only took paracetomol when i was going through it and refused anything else. I remember the painful poos it was like passing a razor blade dipped in acid. I just used to breath through and do some weird up and down thing. Mine lasted for a week and then stopped being painful, so hopefully will be the same or quicker for you. The finish line is in site then its rest recover and get your life back. Xx

And never worry about having a rant thats what we are here for. X

Thank you ️ I will do this! Will soon be a distant memory!

Hi Becky (Beckym16798147d ), 

Firstly huge congratulations on your 20 years sobriety & absolutely a 10 year addiction to something like heroin is going to leave its mark! You would have thought that maybe something could have been put in place, knowing your complexed background, that could have given you a little more consistency during your treatment. 

You sound as though you’re finding ways around managing your pain at the moment & it’s great to hear that your skin is holding up well too. In regards to the opiates I completely understand why you want to stay away from them, in all honesty they did absolutely nothing for me other than cause me chronic constipation so I managed on alternating paracetamol & high strength ibuprofen 2 hourly during the day & as & when through the night, I did find I had to keep a record of what I’d taken & times as the fatigue I had towards the end of treatment gave me awful brain fog! 

Try not to worry about what’s to come after your treatment (easier said than done sometimes I know) try taking this in bite sized pieces, focus on getting to the end of treatment first & the relief that will give you from the daily hospital appointments, the travelling & the early mornings, I hope you manage to decompress quickly. 

As for the GP’s letter, unfortunately this doesn’t surprise me at all! If you feel as though you need some support post treatment there are cancer specific counsellors out there that can help & your oncologist may be able to advise with this or of course you can ring the MacMillan helpline anytime & the lovely advisors will I’m sure be able to help to point you in the right direction. 

Remember how remarkable & strong you are & please never apologise for needing to get things off your chest, this is a safe space to do it & we’re all here to help support you the best we can. You’ve got this

Nicola 

Hello Beckym16798147d 

Becky - what a brave and inspiring post - I am in absolute awe of your resolve and can completely see where you are coming from.  You stick fast in your resolve, if the wave of goodwill coming towards you right now from our other forum members would help your pain, you wouldn't have any!

And pooping into the Sitzbath and lukewarm water was the ONLY way I could open my bowels at this stage in treatment.  No shame, no embarrassment, just do what you have to to get through this in your own way.  And cry too, what you are going through is brutal given your past trauma and PTSD.  You sound such a strong person to have overcome the huge obstacles you have had.

And your doctor's letter...words fail me.  I am sorry you didn't have the support that you needed but as Nicola says there lots of organisations out there that can help.

Everyone here on the forum is with you and virtually holding your hand as you go through this last part of treatment.

Big hug from me

Irene xx

Hi Becky,

You are almost there and I am awed by your strength.

It sounds incredibly tough for you with the long round trip and having to repeat your story to so many different people. You have done so incredibly well in your recovery and are absolutely right to protect it as something precious. Hopefully the alternative forms of pain control will hold’ you even though it can be a bit grim. Your determination and focus will get you through. 

Im sorry about your GP letter and good that you were able to contact them with feedback as that’s a very disappointing length of time. 
Sending you hugs and strength for your remaining treatments. Xx

You’re doing amazingly and have been an inspiration to me as I’m a week behind you on the treatment!! 
Once you’re not travelling everyday and not taking the meds I think emotionally you will feel like you’re on the win! Your recovery will start, whilst a little later for the radio but very quickly from the chemo. You’re so close now! #thisgirlcan

Hi All, 

6 left now! So I’m not sure if you know but I had a slight delayed reaction to the mitomycin infusion and anyway skip forward to today and I’ve had an ultrasound to check for any potential clots an it was all clear! Inflamed veins yes, slight possible infection do antibiotics to pick up tomorrow just in case! Lovely registrar actually phoned me when I got home to confirm this ️ I’m armed with flaminel, flamigel and instillagel and they have said if I need to to increase slightly on the meds I have but so far all is well ️ Thank you for all your kind words it means a great deal to me ️