Really feeling on edge today with treatment looming over me from tomorrow. Had second CT yesterday and managed not to cry whilst in there this time, but broke down once I left the room. The weight of this new reality just feels so overwhelming right now :( not helped by a particularly bad pain night and being very hormonal with monthly due tomorrow also! Just been looking over all the mountains of tablets etc I've been given... had a nightmare about the IV chemo last night too, where somehow I missed out the last part of the dose and then when the cannula was removed, all this thick, dark blood started pouring out of me 
Trying to have as calm and relaxing day today as possible. Hopefully I can walk myself into this with strength and determination xx
Well done JenW , that’s day 1 behind you! In many ways this is the worst day, fear of the unknown I suppose.
I had to smile when I read Irene75359 account of her bottom burps, I was particularly ’windy’ during treatment & although I didn’t suffer from diarrhoea (thankfully) I couldn’t hold onto that wind if my life depended on it! I was probably around half way through my treatment when it suddenly dawned on me, whilst on the radiotherapy machine, that they could actually see my farts exiting my bottom on the screen. I thought I was past embarrassment but I felt my face getting rather flushed as I realised 
Nicola
I have been getting a lot more wind for a while but tend to go to the loo if im not alone. Kinda terrified of not being in control of my body this way due to treatment. I have terrible anxiety and don't handle embarrassment well. Hopefully I can learn to get past this and shrug it off! Wish I could just automatically face these things with humour! Xx
