Pre treatment nerves

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Really feeling on edge today with treatment looming over me from tomorrow. Had second CT yesterday and managed not to cry whilst in there this time, but broke down once I left the room. The weight of this new reality just feels so overwhelming right now :( not helped by a particularly bad pain night and being very hormonal with monthly due tomorrow also! Just been looking over all the mountains of tablets etc I've been given... had a nightmare about the IV chemo last night too, where somehow I missed out the last part of the dose and then when the cannula was removed, all this thick, dark blood started pouring out of me Scream 

Trying to have as calm and relaxing day today as possible. Hopefully I can walk myself into this with strength and determination xx

  • Thinking of you xxx we can do this xxx

  • Jenna (and  

    Although the treatment can be tough once it starts most people feel an enormous sense of relief - all the scans and planning appointments are in the past and hopefully once you are underway the awful pain you are suffering will recede too.

    Will be thinking of you both and virtually holding your hands.

    Big hug

    Irene xx

  • First radiotherapy done Heavy check mark️ and first chemo tablets down.... it really wasn't too bad at all. Wouldn't have really known the machine was doing anything. Had a bit of a wait to go in tho, so ended up with bladder over full! Had to nip out to release a bit and go back in again Sweat smile 

    Glad that first part is over. IV tomorrow. My daughter has crossed off day one on my calendar. 

    Jenna xx

  • Jenna

    Just wait until you have wind bubbles in your colon - I went in for the radiotherapy and they sent me back out into a cubicle to ahem - break wind!  Trying to push out a bottie burp whilst having a full bladder took some control and I couldn't do it.  But they went ahead with the session anyway.  I tell it now not to alarm you, as even at the time I found it funny.

    I am so pleased your first day went well and your first day is marked off.

    Irene xx

  • Oh no..... not entirely sure how im gonna cope with that! Lol! I'm actually having real difficulty in passing urine and anything from the back passage at times. 

    Just had a nap as was wiped out from lack of sleep, morphine and anxiety build up, but woke in agony - terrible pain going right down the back of both legs. I doubt it's resulted from the radio so quickly. Might be as monthly due, but not really feeling it as period type pain xx

  • Hi Jen! Thinking of you as I consider you my “treatment buddy” we almost started at the same time.. I think I am just a few days ahead of you! I started last Tuesday and so far I have felt pretty good!! I am a little nervous to start back up again tomorrow since I had the last 3 days off, but I am ready to get this all over with! Hoping you are feeling okay! We are in this together and will get through this together Raised hands tone2

  • Echoing what others have said the waiting for treatment to start is hard. I felt emotionally better once treatment started

    I agree you can have all the support in the world but at times its a very lonely place.

    Stay strong   

  • Hi Jen,

    Just wanted to wish you well for the IV today and getting day 2 crossed off.

    Hope all goes well xx

  • Hi Kateskins03,

    Good to hear that you’re ok so far. It can be such a relief to finally get on with treatment after all the waiting.

    Hoping all continues to go well.

    Sending hugs xx