Hi, my daughter was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia in February last year, she was in hospital for most of the year and I cared for her two children aged 8 and 10, my daughter had a stem cell transplant last October and is now in remission, but still obviously not 100% fit again. The children were amazing last year and the beginning of this year, I couldn't fault them, they were brave resilient and wonderful. Mum is now out of hospital only returning for bloods and spine chemo. My daughter stays with her partner and spend so many nights as my home, seeing the children every day. Their behaviour has deteriorated, but only with Mum? This is upsetting her and also them, I feel they are without doing it on purpose or knowing they are, punishing her for being away from them, is this something that happens? Their father has not been around for over 5 years. I want to help them all but I am unsure what to do.
Hi Lynne31
Sorry to hear your daughter had Leukaemia and then a stem cell transplant but of course pleased to hear she is now in remission. I can see that Mike the Highlander has provided links to different groups that hopefully will also be helpful.
I was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia in September 2012 and had a stem cell transplant in 2013. At the time my children were 13 and 15 so a bit older than your grandchildren. It was difficult at the time but we found the best approach was to be honest and open about the treatment and let them speak freely and ask questions. My ex wife (the children's Mother didn't really engage or help either).
Have they been in touch with their school councillor? My children found this useful as it was someone outside of the family to speak to about their concerns, fears and emotions. Children are often more resilient than we think and sometimes you just have to sit down with them and be honest and ask them why they are acting this way with their Mother.. they may not even be aware of it themselves. Perhaps they think that your Daughter has beaten the leukaemia so don't understand why the is still having to have treatment. If you haven't already perhaps explain the treatment regime to them so they know what to expect and how long it is likely to go on for.
My treatment journey can be found within my profile here which may help.
Paul
You can speak to someone in confidence by calling Macmillan Support on 0808 808 0000 - 365 days a year 8am to 8pm It's free from mobiles and landlines. The friendly team are waiting to take your call.
