20 months ago I lost my husband of 47 to bile duct cancer. We didn't have any children but I do have a lovely brother and his wife along with a couple of really close friends.
June this year I was diagnosed with nhl of the spleen. Had 4 sessions of rituximab and a major allergic reaction to the final session resulting in an over night stay on observations. The rituximab didn't work so I'm now back at the beginning with zanubrutinib and not sure how that will work or affect me.
Since then at my latest diabetic eye test I have been told I have diabetic maculopothy which is affecting my eye sight and may stop me from driving.
I am due to start zanubrutinib this week, I am also seeing eye specialist on Friday and due to go away for the weekend.
I am tired, feel sick most of the time, have no appetite and generally feel like shit and can't see properly some of the time. Don't feel I can talk to my brother or friends as they all expect me to be upbeat all the time.
Final straw today was something so minor- I couldn't get the top off a new bottle of bleach. I just sat and cried and thought what have I done to deserve this.
Sorry for the long post - just needed to get it out of my head and hope I can now get some sleep
