Friend/colleague just put on palliative care

Hi MommyJ 

Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.

Sorry to hear about what your friend has gone through, that does sound really difficult. When I frist hear of palliative care I tended to think of end of life but that is not always true as we can see here.

In terms of your workplace it may help if your friend were to talk to one of the team on the helpline, we have a page on cancer and employment rights,

<<hugs>>

Steve

Thanks Steve, she has a lawyer involved already, and has also been getting support from Macmillan for a while. But she has been told she has just months left

Hi mommyj. Im sorry to read about your friebd, this news always knocks.you sideways. Im glad she has a lawyer involved but shame on her employer that she shoukd have to on top of managing the cancer.

In terms of support, being present is important if and when she is able to. Can you visit her and ask her what she would like? For example, is she mobile, is rhere anything she enjoys doing? This can often give family a break if they are in a caring role. Does she want to talk about her feelings or not, my husband didnt really want to talk about dying, but others may do. 

If you are able, maybe offer to do things around the house, washing up, hoover etc, these are the things that I struggled with as my husband got worse and friends became invaluable both to me and him, and they continue to support me now hes gone.

I hope you can find ways to support her, be her friend and create memories that will carry you on after she has gone.

Thank you do much for your reply. I haven't offered any specific help, but have previously ask if there is anything I can do - and extended that offer to her husband. I'm hoping to go and see her next week to see how she is doing, and whether there is anything I can do. Didn't want to intrude over the weekend as she was breaking the news to her children. She does tend to be a very open person, so I'll see what she says.

Work are horrendous, and have very much let her down. 

How are you doing?