Hi all, I found out a couple of days ago that my mum has incurable lung cancer. Obviously im heartbroken and completely devastated.
She has lung adenocarcinoma which has spread to her lymph nodes in her neck (so surgery wasnt an option), a bone in her back and in 2 places of her pelvis.
The plan is radiotherapy and immunotherapy. Which starts next Tuesday She's otherwise in good health appart from mild COPD. And she plans to stay active and eat well.
Im absolutely terrified that she wont see my son grow up and just looking for some hope that she might last longer than 2 years. Is there anything i can do that can help prolong her life, help her when going for treatments and how to support her as she goes through this?
Welcome to our coummunity, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
I am Steve, one of the community champions and my experience of cancer is via my wife who has Leiomyosarcoma, scattered nodules throughout her lung - incurable but after 2 rounds of chemotherapy her cancer is stable so now we are living with cancer rather than dying from cancer.
Sounds like good news that your mum is in good health, that can be important in facing treatment.
Janice never wanted a prognosis when she was diagnosed and I struggled with that but came to realise they are a best a guess based on averages and are often not very helpful.
Your reactions are quite normal but perhaps one thing many learn is the importance of dealing with our own emotions if we are to be the best at supporting our loved ones. Something I found quite helpful on that front is looking at Your feelings when someone has cancer.
How old is your son? Ours was quite young when my wife first got ill and we were lucky to get a lot of support through his school.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Sounds like you are being very sensible noting about how you mght cope with work and everything else. Hopefully your employer is supportive and perhaps if you have something like an employee assistance programme if may be worth contacting them.
It does sound a bit like you might be feeling some anticipatory grief, there is quite a good article on that here though I thing perhaps my favourite quote on that is from Randy Armstrong “Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles. It takes away today’s peace.”
<<hugs>>
Steve
