Hi everyone, my long-term partner’s dad was diagnosed a few months ago, we were initially told it was curable with surgery and then that it was inoperable as it’s spread, and now have been told he likely has less than 12 months.
I don’t know how to support my partner and his family, I’ve struggled to look after myself for a long time and have been trying my best to keep on top of cleaning and tidying, cooking etc as he’s also struggling to look after himself at the moment, I just worry that I’m not able to provide enough support to him and his family in this state. He doesn’t tend to have any trouble opening up emotionally, I think my biggest struggle is just not knowing what to say/do besides the standard ‘I’m here if you need to talk’ and so on, which doesn’t feel very helpful. His dad starts chemo tomorrow, so assume things are about to get heavier emotionally.
I suggested that my partner speak to someone (I.e. a therapist?) to advise and help build coping skills as things get worse over the next year or so, can anyone advise what may be suitable? Is there anything cancer-specific or more suitable than standard NHS therapy (my past experience of this has not been great)? Do the NHS offer anything more specific for this than standard 6 sessions of CBT? I also get health insurance through work (bupa) which covers therapy-related things, but am currently looking for a new job and so am hesitant to get into anything that may be abruptly cut short.
Any advice on how I can provide support would also be appreciated, obviously I have asked but I know there may be ways to support that they may not think of.
I hope this is suitable for this forum, thanks in advance!
Hi Mouse
Welcome to our community, I hope you find it both informative and supportive.
Something that might help your partners dad if they have not had one is to arrange a needs assessment. It may be worthwhile too if they talked to a benefit advisor to make sure they are getting everything to which they are entitled - they can ring the helpline here
Something I found quite helpful was when I first went in to our local Maggies There is a tool on the main site here which will show support groups in your area.
You might find some help around talking in some of the information here
Do post on here whenever, someone is always listening and you are more that welcome.
<<hugs>>
Steve
