how do you go on each day knowing that his time running out he at moment is ok eats but tired most time cold always even now its 19c he got jumper track suit trousers under a quilt sometimes he puts the heating rad on by side him and the gas fire at night he sleeps in a lay back chair as he finds laying flat un comble, i sleep in my room . i cannot stand the heat in the room i just well we don't talk about what's next he been told he want see xmas this year, i just so holding on if i try and think what could happen sooner just break down hide , he on the side tells you knew it could happen than end of decussation it 48 years married he has never really be one to talk i just don't know what to do I' know he is must be afraid I'm terrified to be what's next yes i know i have to deal with it but i watch both parents die in hospice i got some how get to understand i don't want him to die at home 2 sons that are home don't want that either but he does so walk around pretending or rather ignoring that's coming tried a bucket list while he can get around but that fell on dirt i than rowed with him he has got piles of tools in garage u need to go through it what belongs to company or you he refuses to tell any family members i did but his own sister i refuse to .i just want be ready if possible when he gone ie his bank stuff i don't have it his things who he wants to go etc i read that lost broke angry i can see that at both of us he used do garden i get whats the point i want be here to see it next year just hurts i struggle to sleep because im just lost in sorrow
