Mum Sudden diagnosis terminal cancer

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I’m new here, in a place I had never expected to be. In February my mum was rushed into hospital and needed emergency surgery for a bowel tumour. She’d had a colonoscopy a year ago, that was clear and up until January 25 mum was very active and apparently healthy’. The diagnosis of bowel cancer came with the news that there was also extensive spread with mets in the bones, lungs, stomach and ovaries.
It’s all been a horrible whirlwind of appointments since then with the whole family struggling to deal with the diagnosis and mums rapid deterioration. She can now barely walk across the room, she is so breathless, is struggling to sleep and eats very little.
It has all been a bit disjointed between GP ( who were useless up to now) surgical team and oncology, however mum has made the decision not to have palliative chemo. Palliative care team are now being involved and I’m hoping mum will now have someone to go to for everything and someone to talk everything through with.

Within a few weeks mums gone from thinking / hoping she just had a tummy bug to having to make end of life decisions. It’s all so overwhelming.
I’m also struggling with it all. I’m the eldest and I’m trying to be strong but seeing my mum so frail and poorly is breaking my heart. My husband also has mental health issues and became unwell last week and has now gone to stay with his relatives.
I know everyone here is going through similar cancer journeys with family members so can understand the emotions.

Millibob 17 days ago

Hello Dizzyrunner13

I am Brian one of the Community Champions here at Macmillan. I have just noticed your post has gone unanswered and by me replying it will be "bumped up" to the top of the group and I hope be seen and answered by other members of the group.

I am so so sorry to read your post about mum. I can see how the diagnosis has had such a devastating effect on such a close knit family. Here's a link with some information which I hope will be of assistance to you:

Care at Home

Don'r forget our Support Line is also there for all the family on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm) Please do give them a call for any additional help or support you need.

If I can do anything else for you please do let me know.

Kind Regards - Brian.

Community Champion badge

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

Strength, Courage, Faith, Hope, Defiance, VICTORY.

I am a Macmillan volunteer.

Dizzyrunner13 9 days ago

Dizzyrunner13 9 days ago in reply to Dizzyrunner13

Sadly my mum passed away at home on Saturday morning. I had contacted our macmillan team for help regarding her symptoms on Thursday. Unbeknownst to us mum had spoken to them 4 days prior and told them all was ok and she didn’t need any help,

mum had gone from being told she had a probable stomach bug to emergency surgery within a week and then recovering from surgery to being talked to about end of life.
she didn’t get the chance to have macmillan input or anyone to talk to about what was happening to her. I know a lot of that was her choice, she would never admit to struggling or ask for help, however I do wish she had got support from the beginning of the shock diagnosis, as mum couldn’t take in everything she was being told from separate GP, oncologist, nurse appointments and it all felt so disjointed. She had to make decisions about chemo, without anyone to independently talk to her about what it all meant and what the plan was.
The day before she died the GP called her and prescribed end of life medications, implying she had little time left, despite no palliative care team or inpatient plan in place. Myself and the family only know this from paramedics who attended at the end and her NHS records.
Her cancer was sneaky, hiding from a colonoscopy and not revealing itself until it had spread everywhere. I am glad she did not suffer for long but heartbroken to see her go from a happy, dancing, active woman to gone in just 4 months.

Millibob 9 days ago in reply to Dizzyrunner13

Hello Dizzyrunner13

Thank you for your post - I am so sorry to read the contents and send you my sincere condolences at this sad time.

If I can do anything for you please do let me know - here's a link to a group you may want to join for support

Bereaved family and friends forum

Please do also remember our Support Line is there for you and your family on 0808 808 00 00 (8am to 8pm 7 days a week)