Hi
i am in pieces my mum only 78 has Alzheimer’s she went into care home over a year ago but apart from being little confused on day to day things she ok still knows who everyone is etc she went yellow last weekend went into hospital had scans etc then we was told day ago that she has bile duct cancer due to the size of it and feel it’s been there for some time it’s just palliative care and she was given 2-4 weeks but they said tonight that once stop the fluids and the antibiotics she will deteriorate fast, good news is the care home going to take her back she going tomorrow and macmillan nurses will go out to care home we are lucky there is St wilfrids hospice just 2 mins away from the care home they said that they are there for mum 24/7. The care home is lovely we wanted mum to go back there as she knows them all plus it’s her home, they been great told us we can go any time to see mum even stay the night if want to. Due to mum Alzheimer’s we not told her about the cancer don’t think she would remember as she is getting more confused. This been great shock I am so close to my mum and did think that this would be the thing that kills her, one minute I am ok the next I can’t stop crying
Hello Jenny
I am really sorry to hear about your Mum. I understand that it is a very difficult time for you. It is really normal to have your emotions all over the place at the moment. Dealing with the shock as well.
When my own Mum was close to the end, all that really helped us was to talk to each other and accept that it was a really tough time. One minute I would feel ok and the next minute would be tearful. I found Cruse helpful both before and after.
Home - Cruse Bereavement Support
I would feel comforted that she has people around her and she is going back to the care home that she knows. The hospice being so close will hopefully be able to offer you all practical and emotional support. I am sure the Macmillan nurses will be of a great support.
We do have the Support Line if you feel that it would help to talk to someone outside of your family. I know sometimes for us we would talk to each other but sometimes we would not necessarily want to have the more difficult conversations for fear of causing more upset or worry.
I hope that Mum is now settled back into the care home and that she is comfortable.
Please do continue to post on here for support and if there is anything else you need, you know where we are.
Jane
