Hi - I’m new to this group today. A week ago I visited my sister for a few days - she lives over 2 hours away. While there I had to call an ambulance one evening as she developed terrible pain in her abdomen. I was with my sister when she got the news she had inoperable, pancreatic cancer that had spread to her lungs and liver. Her reaction was really upsetting as she broke down and shouted hysterically ‘I don’t want to hear any more’ which the consultant respected. As a result she doesn’t know her cancer is stage 4 metastatic and can’t be cured - it’s also spread to her lymph nodes. I discovered this as I read all the information on her discharge notes from the hospital which stated her diagnosis clearly and fully. I also explained to the oncology support nurse I knew who was sympathetic and said it will make things difficult. As my sister didn’t read the discharge notes and didn’t want any further information from the nurse, she is now playing down her diagnosis to the rest of our family and her friends. They think she is at a much lesser stage and can likely be cured or that she will survive for many years - I’m not saying is a bad thing as it’s helping her emotionally to remain positive and retain normality but it’s really hard keeping the awful reality of her diagnosis to myself. I feel I'm lying to my sister and family all the time and terrified of slipping up or saying the wrong thing. Is this normal and will my sister eventually face the truth? I want to support her properly and help her make the most of this time but can’t the way things are. I’m still living at her house to help her through her various hospital appointments, but struggling to keep up the facade as I watch her spending huge amounts of money and making long term plans. What will she think if she finds out I knew all along and didn’t say anything even though she didn’t want to know? I don’t even know if it’s right for me to post this on a forum as it feels disloyal. Anyone else been through this?
